I have two thoughts on relationships. First: as much as disclosure brings intimacy; complete disclosure can be near catastrophic. And secondly: early within a relationship, one would do well if a calamity were to arise.
Let me further explain. When a couple first happily trots down the path of romance, there is often the desire to inquire about things they would be better off, in the end, not knowing; past sexual relationships being first on that list. When drawn to another there is an almost undeniable urge to gather all that can be gathered about this exciting person that has magically captivated one’s thoughts. Add to that, the fact that it seems almost a sign of a promising future when both feel freely to share all that was in the past; innocently hoping that by doing so they’re building a better future. To an extent, this is true – in essence. But in my humble opinion, let the past be the past and let the future be the future. It is the one and only way to create a pure, unadulterated relationship. Create your own memories. Leave the rest, at least the sexual ones, behind.
Someone from my past once told me how he and a woman had once done wild things with eggs – sexually speaking. To this day, that image still has a place within my mind. As an inquisitive gal my mind has and would wonder how they did what they did without the egg breaking, and more so, why they did what they did with an egg, of all things! There are far better, far more structurally sound food objects to be found – a plump radish for one! And didn’t they factor in the chance of broken shell fragments?
Lastly, it’s too easy to worry about measuring up to past lovers; the insecurity of which can easily inhibit one’s free spirit in the now. So I say, focus on the person that lives in the now – it is, after all, the only one that truly exists.
As for the other point. I feel one’s true colors come out during the worst of times. Anyone can love easily and with joy and kindness during the good times.
But when the world is thundering and it’s pouring hard, does the one you love provide shelter, or do they vacate; leaving you standing alone in the rain. While we live on this planet, in this particular time space dimension, there will, inevitably, be times when it not only rains, but pours; of that, there is no escaping. When my eyes are squinting from the battering winds, I want to look over and see that I am not alone. Because chances are, that person, if willing to stand by my side when soaked and wind whipped, will also be by my side when the skies clear and the sun shines bright. I know where I would be for those I love. I’d be holding the umbrella.
Maybe its my age, but I’ve been thinking a good deal about these things over the last year. Maybe its due to having witnessed human behavior at its worst. I would have made so many different decisions regarding that person had I only known. And God knows, I haven’t looked at an egg the same since.