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Its not lost on me how some of the very best things in life, are optional. Not required for existence, yet for those that know the secret to happiness, these things are truly the gateway to what animates life.
Life lives and breathes all on its own. One would think, and believe, that it is animated just by virtue of its existence. I don’t believe that to be so. Instead, so easy it is to walk through life without living; to live without any real life; with only the mechanical functions orchestrating our movements.
These optional items are often downplayed. We strive for functionality and logical thinking. It is, after all the sign of wisdom, or so we are led to believe. But the wise know that life lives in these optional choices. Like choosing a sun roof on a new car. At first it seems like something that isn’t necessary Yet, every time upon entry, its noticed, appreciated, and the new owner smiles. Not because of the new car, and its ability to move from point A to point B, but because when they look up during the night, they can now see the stars. They allowed themselves this thing that was meant only for joy.
Love is an optional component. True love, I feel, isn’t an option. It happens, without our consent. But what we do with it, is solely within our control, how we tend to it and care for it are completely deliberate decisions; whether we choose to pursue it or let it go. My logical mind always let’s it go. Always. Yet, doing so causes the heart to collapse within itself. Every now and again, I choose from the heart. I have done so twice in my life, and both were not within the confines of my two failed marriages.
Standing on my balcony moments ago, I rested my hands upon the rail and allowed the strong Lake Michigan breeze to push hard against my body; all the while, the sun drenched my soul with its warm glow. In that short moment, I felt the energy that is Life. As a whole, it moved across my body. I thought about how hard it is to choose those things that seem optional. Yet how, in the end, we come to discover that without them we struggle to survive.
I can’t control all of the options in my life. Some, I may let go of – purely because I feel that is what should be; that is what’s wanted. I won’t hold down a bird, that wants only to fly. I won’t hold on to anything, actually.
Alone, I find myself, but I’m beginning to believe its inherent to my journey. I will let go of the desire to make it otherwise. One day I may have to let go of this beautiful place that I call home. But know this, wherever I settle, I will be sure to choose those frivolous options that make life worth living. And when strong enough, if ever offered, I will choose love.
Insanity 