Somewhere In The Middle

Almost everyone I know – is in search of something. The things they’re looking for are as varied as the fingerprints on their hands. And yet, at the core remains a similar battle, and that is for something they feel they don’t yet have.

These are not struggles for material objects. This is a desire for something deeper: peace, contentment – happiness. I know no one who has all three. At least not to the level that they would like.

It is said that all things are made of energy, vibrating at different levels and speeds. Most things move at such a rate they seem permanent and unmoving, and yet science says differently. Our minds and souls are no different. Everything is constantly moving. It should come as no surprise then, that we are all moving and shifting and trying to find our way toward something.

It is my belief that we only move toward that which we feel will bring us joy. Whether moving toward finding a companion, a new home, or a song to listen to during our worst day – everything is sought out with the hope that it will make us feel better. As the world shifts, and our minds try to balance the constant barrage of life’s demands, we seek what will lift us higher. Like air, these things fill us with hope and joy. I feel, these things, whatever they may be, are just as important as air. Necessary components to life.

I’ve always noticed when the soul is in conflict with the mind, the one struggling forces themselves to detach from all those things that bring them joy. When we are at our lowest point, these joyful things remind us only of better times, or the hope thereof. When times get rough, we either cling to these things like a life raft, or we push them away and go adrift.

I’m tired of being unhappy. I’m tired of living with a mind that is often in conflict. My mind and my spirit are finally melding together – the two are becoming one. My highs aren’t as high, but my lows aren’t quite as low either. Please know, I still fall apart. My unhappiness, at times, penetrates my heart like an arrow that makes it impossible to breathe. Yet, during those piercing moments, I’m no longer fully submerged. It seems instead of bouncing, I’ve found a bit more contentment holding onto my life raft, staying afloat somewhere in the middle.

Sane

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