Underwater Pursuits

everythingsgold.blogspot.com

At the close of July 2004, I came within two millimeters of losing my life in a motorcycle accident; with twelve bones broken, part of my abdomen lost and a brain hemorrhage. I recovered completely. During recovery, my marriage imploded. I pursued a divorce, things got worse, as they often do. I recanted my desire with hopes of preserving the family unit.

In July of 2005 my son was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. During the following year and a half, he endured intensive radiation and chemotherapy. He recovered, completely.

In 2009 I hit my lowest point. Once again, my depression begged that I gracefully remove myself from this journey. Instead, I wrote my first novel, and asked for a divorce. This time, I didn’t back down.

In 2010 my husband drained all the funds from the bank accounts and threw our business into a tailspin from which it wouldn’t recover. A day after he diverted funds from the accounts, FedEx, the company to which our business was subcontracted, gave me two choices, to be fulfilled in two weeks: find a buyer or they would seize all assets. One buyer appeared, despite all odds. And on the last day, in the final hours, I signed over what took a decade to build.

So here I sit in 2012. The divorce I started in 2009 came to a close late in December of 2011. I don’t have any real answers as to why life takes the turns it takes. Many say all things happen for a reason; lessons to be learned. If so, I’ve earned a PhD in life. But even so, I’m inclined to agree. I feel as though I’ve lived a few lives all funneled into this one. I’m tired. Yet, everything that happened in my life brought me to where I am right now. And now is where I need to be. I hate to think of the mess I was in the beginning that required so much teaching. Hopefully, its nothing like that. Rather, the more our soul wants to grow, the larger the steps we must take. And those steps aren’t always found on stairways of crafted oak or marble. Instead, they’re often the painful movements made to overcome something that, at the time, seems larger than life.

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