As many of you know, I eye the Bible with a bit of question. Solely because it’s had the unfortunate fate of having been passed down through the hands of man. However, there’s a verse in which I’ve always resonated: Revelation 3:16, “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth.”
I feel it’s within this simple line, that most of us do not fulfill our calling. We do not find our life’s love, and we do not live our heart’s desire. To be either hot or cold, on any subject, takes a good deal of mental, emotional and physical fortitude.
Many of us, for reasons too great to list here, live in the grey areas; the lukewarm waters of life, and not because this is what we want. As it’s a place that rarely holds contentment. If it did, we wouldn’t be searching. Dreams, intrinsically, are never lukewarm. Instead, when our eyes close, and we’re within the safe, private walls of our mind, we dream with wild abandoned. Rarely do we dream of a so so life, a so so lover, or a so so emotion sweeping across our body. We buy the mid-sized sedan. We dream of the sports car.
Sometimes I wonder if God watches and waits for us to commit; to commit to that which rests upon our hearts. So as we wait for God, He waits for us. He has given us two hands knowing that to fully hold another’s heart we have to release our own. He has given us dreams knowing that for them to manifest we have to move beyond the safe confines of familiarity. He has given us a mind with ideas, knowing for them to come to fruition we have to act.
We all have different dreams. Our work is to catch up to the dream; to walk within the dream. I dream of simpler times. I dream of a life where the rug stays firmly in place, no longer being pulled from under me. Not all dreams are wild in nature. Money comes, and money goes. I’ve been with, and I’ve been without. Fame is no more important than the daily news; both change upon whim and whimsy. Contentment is my dream, as lukewarm as it may sound to others. We all have something that nags at us from inside.
I am writing a piece for a magazine wherein I am to define the time when my life forever changed. Will they understand when I list the day I was born, as its been quite the ride since then. I get angry at God and the Universe for making my dream seemingly unattainable. As I withdraw further, God smacks his hand onto his forehead, and sighs deeply. It is easier for me to speak to the world than to confide softly into the ear of a lover. Only because within the hot breath and moment, there is risk, there is vulnerability. My nature is to avoid both.
But if one dreams of riches they have to gamble their lot. If one dreams of having their life’s love, they have to let go. And if one wants only to catch up with their dreams they must run as if they’re on fire. Because, I am told, there’s a God who said we must.