Farmers Only

Well I’ll be damned. There’s now an online dating site dedicated solely for farm people. I wonder if they’d ever make such a site for writers?

As many of you know, I’m a curious cat. So yes – I did visit this Farmers Only dating website. But it seems one has to sign up; certifying they are over eighteen, own some livestock and agree to the terms and conditions. I’m being facetious. I apologize.

As I viewed the home page, with its small profile pics stacked one on top of the other, many wearing cowboy hats, I had to wonder what such a site would look like if it were for writers. Would we all be wearing glasses, like I am now? Would there be the random monocle? Would it show anyone with their shoulders so tight their head was about to pop clean off their neck? Or being a profile pic, would there be staged poses; elbow on knee, chin on fist. Respectable. Solid.

And God only knows what kind of personality questions one would have to answer. How often do you use your computer’s thesaurus? Can you spell restaurant without pausing midway? Do you dangle your participles?

Of course, the site would quickly separate the fiction writers from the non fiction. That’s a given. Or does it not work like that? Is there harmony found in pairing one up with their opposite. I think there is, as long as its not too extreme. In fact, I know for certain I do not want to date me. I talk to me every blasted day, why would I want to listen to someone similar to me anymore than I already do. I remember long conversations I once had with someone, months ago; I loved listening to them prattle. I was able to step outside of myself in those moments, and it felt lovely.

I’m actually being encouraged to try online dating, but I don’t think I will. I did it briefly for the purpose of research, and although I met one person out of the whole lot that I found pleasing. I don’t know if I like how squirrelly things can get. Often, I relegate those I meet to the category of friend simply to remove the oftentimes fickleness that rears up when the heart is involved. And then for the life of me I don’t know how anyone is to decipher those being honest from those that are not. It’s all so exhausting.

I can’t say my profile would be all that enticing anyway. I would however, want to inform them of a few things up front, and being a site for writers I would imagine I could speak with full expression. I’d let them know that oddly enough, even though I get cold easily, I like to sleep in a frigid room. I sleep on the left side of the bed, with one foot out, and don’t intend on changing. I could easily love dogs more than people, but that’s only because they love me without condition. I have yet to find a human who can do the same. I like to curl up in bed and watch the most peculiar of shows while eating. If I’m going to take the time to make love, then I want it to be with passion. I need to be left alone for stretches of time, solely so I can write. And when I write, I often mumble to myself. I’m not insane, just caught in the moment. I’m as much fascinated by all that I don’t know in life as that which I do. If I know someone is lying to me, I will at times choose to be a piss head, and ask them a few questions until such time as they’ve completely buried themselves. I have a phenomenal memory but can’t for the life of me remember the state capitols. I have a need for speed when it comes to machines. But only in that area. I’m a bit of a paradox and I fully admit to being a handful. But I’m honest. And those that have earned my friendship know that I would do most anything for them. To most, this is too complicated. Hence the reason, combined with the reasons above, that I’ve never ventured onto a dating site. And most likely won’t. So for now, it seems, the Farm People are safe.



8 thoughts on “Farmers Only

  1. Jason W. Adolf

    There is a joke in here somewhere about the size of the biceps of farmers, but it probably would take your site into x rated territory (or maybe just R). I like your idea – friends of mine (women) who have used dating sites have been frustrated by the general dishonesty of some of the men. But they can’t all be like that? Just have to keep optimistic and your heart open (to an extent)

    1. SaneSamantha Post author

      I think the dishonesty epidemic hits both genders. If not, I’d contemplate trying to switch teams. But sadly, I enjoy men too much to give up my natural inclinations 🙂 But on that note, I would like to think a wonderful person is out there for all of us (if you’ve found yours perhaps you should share your secret). An open heart, eh? So much easier to encourage others to do that, but not do it myself! lol But you are right 🙂

      1. Jason W. Adolf

        It is much easier to give advice than to actually live it – isn’t that how it usually is? I try to not let painful experiences from the past influence the present, but it always isn’t possible. Switching sides isn’t an option for me either 🙂

      2. SaneSamantha Post author

        Without exception, every morsel of guidance imbedded into a post, is guidance I am also giving myself. I have to believe that implementing it is hard for all of us. I’ve only had a handful of painful experiences concerning men, and yet somehow through the years I find less and less reason to extend the energy to open my heart. Perhaps the Gods will send someone my way that compels me to open the castle gates 🙂

      3. SaneSamantha Post author

        I could say a good deal in reply to this, but that would best be left for a private message. However, your optimism is awfully sweet. And your compliments are even sweeter. Thank you.

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