I am not a religious person. I do not adhere to any religious doctrines. Nevertheless, I have studied many. Due to that perhaps, I hold the position that I do. As many of you know, I have an ardent belief in a force that sits at the base of all things. I feel this force, call it God if you wish, is not confined to any set of rules – therefore I choose to do the same.
I have noticed though that despite the many different beliefs we all have, most everyone grapples with the concept of faith. Even those who turn their nose up to it during the course of everyday logical thinking, clamor to wrap their hopes around it once confronted with staggering circumstances beyond their control. Faith, is much like that of love; its elusive, yet we all long for it.
We want to believe it is real. We want to hang our hat on it, and know that it will always be there to greet us when we call upon it. Again, much like our hopes for love. Often those who’ve met with love gone wrong also release their beliefs in faith. I have sat on all corners of this situation. I have had love. I have lost love. I have had faith. I have questioned if faith even exists.
Today, I choose to believe in both. Not because I’ve caught a glimpse of love or have watched the benevolent hand of God drop upon me that for which I want most to receive. No. I’m choosing simply because the thought of doing so feels better than choosing to believe otherwise, and I believe faith is powerless when wavering.
If faith holds any facilitating abilities, surely its power comes from our steadfast belief in it. If we profess to have great faith, but doubt it when all appearances show that which we don’t want to see, then are faith is empty. But if when looking at a formidable future we breathe deep, and know that from some unexpected source relief will arrive – then our faith has power.
Regardless of one’s religion, there is a universal truth: faith can not exist alongside that of fear. One can wish for the best while riddled with fear. But faith, consisting of any manifesting power, is not present during those wishful, anxious times. Faith sits at the top end of the thermometer while fear sits at the bottom. The one is not felt while the other is present. I would like to believe I have faith. But when a wave of fear sweeps across my body like a cold immobilizing chill, I know that I am once again free-falling downward. Asking if faith works, is like saying, I am strong, with a weak, trembling voice. The question itself is a manifestation of the fear that is already in place.
So today, like many days, I look out at my future and am uncertain of what I see. Regardless of what is staring back at me, I choose to have faith that my journey will unfold just as it should. Appearances after all, are and always will be, based on limited perception. I do not know what lays beyond the horizon. But faith does. And it is my guide.
Listening to: Green Day – Kill The DJ