And For That, I’m Thankful

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Quite some time ago, I made a solid decision regarding my life. When I look back over the many trials that’ve come my way, I would not do so begrudgingly. Instead, I would do so with thankfulness at all that I’ve overcome.

When one spends their early years within a turbulent home, vulnerability has a way of imbedding itself within the very cells of their body, not to mention the underpinnings of their mind and heart. And yet, I see the home from which I came as supplying the building blocks necessary in forming the very singular, if not peculiar, view I have of people. It takes years for a miner to become skilled at eyeing the thin vein of gold that runs through quartz. But once their eye is trained, their work becomes easier. I have seen human frailty at its most desperate. I have watched the mind crumble into tiny pieces. I have watched people struggle with others because of their profound struggle with themselves. My miner’s eye came from my upbringing. And for that I am thankful.

When one sits within a bustling intensive care unit, yet hears nothing except the words spoken hours ago by the surgeon about to save one’s son, they learn that often Providence comes disguised. God is a magnificent force that will find any means by which to speak, touch and be. Whether by the words of a writer that causes one to view life differently, lyrics to a song that pierce the heart and causes one to feel less alone, or through the hands of a stranger about to operate on one’s son. I can’t imagine limiting the ways of God. And often, I struggle to understand why some try. Doing so would be like trying to capture the sound of music within one’s hand; impossible. I now see God in all things, and often within all people; even when they never will, within their lifetime, see it themselves. And for that I am thankful.

When one is faced with unfathomable challenges they learn of their own unshakable strength. Strength is not found upon life’s easier roads. Endurance of the body, mind and soul are all found when put to the test. I’ve been tested. I have fallen. But I have risen again. And regardless of anything that may come my way, I know, I have the strength to rise again. That strength is with me now everywhere I go. And for that I am thankful.

When one spends their life living haunted by the shadow of themselves, they either never rest or one day turn and look into the eye of their inner being. My inner being, my spirit, has always wanted to speak. When young it whispered delicately in my ear. It allowed me to walk in the night knowing I was never alone. When older, the unidentified duality within myself caused more discomfort than comfort. To find solid footing, I would smother this voice, only to have it push hard to be heard. When one denies who they are, they unwittingly choose a slow suicide. My death was slow. But as most bodies do, my spirit took a final gasp for air. And when it did, I listened. I learned that my life required working together with this voice. Now, more often than not, this voice speaks for me. Its words are those that tell us we are all divine, and we must push on toward happiness. We are of value, and owe ourselves the very best. When I forget, this voice reminds me that we are meant to smile. And it is my job to find what will make that happen. That voice also told me I needed to write. And to this day, writing is my breath. And for that I am thankful.

I do not look back upon this rough road with sadness. I look back knowing that I am blessed. And I look forward knowing within the deepest part of me that I am living my life’s purpose. And, in the doing, I have touched the hearts of many. I must also say that I am profoundly blessed each and every time a reader scans their eyes smoothly over my words; their voice whispering my sentiments inside their mind. This is not wealthy work I am doing. Entertaining you, speaking to you, is my life’s work however. And for that I am thankful.

Sane

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