The Price of Love


As generation after generation emerges before us, I have to wonder from what source they will ultimately form their definition of what it is to love. Surrounded by a world of judgement, criticisms given to others equal to those we give ourselves, will they ever understand the difference between love and that which comes with a price tag.

As with most things, love’s definition has changed along the way. Maybe it’s true meaning has never been known and acted upon by the masses. I really can’t say. But I do know this – the vast majority of what is shown now – is not love in its purest form.

Instead, this particular emotional expression is like most everything else in society – it comes at a cost. And yet love, above and beyond all else, is the one thing that should never require payment from the one to whom it is given.

Today’s love has turned into something that is bought and sold, or is used as a bartering tool. Love is not a commodity. And yet, even when young we are indirectly led to believe it is. To a child, nothing represents love more than the adoring smile from one’s parent; expressions reserved for when we do good. The opposite is expressed when we do what is perceived to be wrong. Early on, we learn that love is earned through proper behavior, high marks and good deeds. Children learn not just through words of instruction, but by the actions surrounding the words; more so by the energy imbued within all.

And because of having deemed ourselves as an object that was either worthy or unworthy of love, we in turn became the first person to whom we gave conditional love. When we succeed, we claim love for ourselves. When we fail, we hate who we’ve become. Again, even when dealing with the one sacred source from which our first line of love originates, ourselves, we opt not to love freely. Instead, we demand of ourselves that we produce a desired outcome before looking at ourselves fondly.

One might think that what I’m proposing is that we give our love to another regardless of how they behave; regardless of their treatment toward us. This isn’t the case. That is only the misguided illusion of martyrdom within a relationship. I believe in the opposite. Due to a lack of love for one’s self, many of us stay with a partner even when they show us the cruel side of humanity. We don’t do this out of love for them. We do this out of a lack of love for ourself. How we allow others to treat us is directly linked to the love we hold for ourself.  And if children are watching this treatment, imagine what they are being taught about loving oneself, and how to love another. Their definition becomes askew and twisted. And thus the cycle of ill-defined love continues.

When we love who we are – only then can we give love to another in its purest form. Love that does not come with a price. By continually honoring one’s self, we step away from those with whom we are not in alignment. But we step away while standing in a place of love. We can wish them well and hope they find that for which they are searching.

I hope that as I carry out my last few decades – I can continually provide to my children an example of what it means to be love. The love I have for myself, as flawed and complex as I may appear. As well as the love I have for others, as flawed and complex as they may appear. If my children do not learn it from me, then from where will they learn it?



4 thoughts on “The Price of Love

  1. Lucki

    I appreciate the deep insight and wisdom of your thoughts on love.

    As related to human relationships or interrelatedness, I believe forms of unconditional and conditional love are needed to make the world go around. Unconditional love is giving freely, and not based on any condition, act, quality, or other the receiver does or possesses. This form of love established a feeling within the receiver that he or she is basically good or valuable, that such love does not have to be earned or received only upon a criteria met. ‘And God looked over all that he had created, and behold it was good.’ Unconditional love is received by the receiver upon certain conditions met, such as goals achieved, demonstration of desired behavior. ‘I love when you get do all of your homework correctly and on time’. Conditional love instilled a sense of direction, a desired or appropriate behavior, accomplishment.

    Guilt comes from failure to archieve or demonstrate socially or culturally acceptable or appropriate actions or outcomes. Guilt is felt when the conditions of conditional love are not met.

    A person who received mainly or only unconditional love could ax murder someone and still feel a deep sense of goodness and value about self. However, a person who receives mainly or only conditional love would feel guilty when merely comtplating murder. This feeling of guilt may save lives.

    Both forms of love are required keep a society intact. Unconditional love give value, conditional love give direction in life.

    1. SaneSamantha Post author

      Thank you for taking the time to share your beliefs on love. It is important that everyone has the freedom to express such, even when not in agreement.

      I hope it is through my instruction and love for mankind that my children choose not to murder someone. My moral compass prevents me from hurting anyone in that manner; the same moral compass that urges me to give my love not in exchange for a reward, but because it is there for me to give. In exchange for good grades I will gladly reward them, but not with a love that shifts upon condition. My love remains a constant regardless of achievements or failures.

      Love, or the hope for such, is not what prevents me from misdeeds against society – that would be due to the promptings of my moral compass and perhaps the wisdom that I wouldn’t fare too well in jail.

      But it is good that we do not hold thoughts that are cookie cutter versions of one another. Life can be viewed by many different angles, through many different lenses.

      Best to you ~ S.

  2. Clark Kent

    Letting go of attachment is the most prominent choice one can make. It is to let go of all the labels, it is to let go of all conditions. It evens means to say goodbye to the thoughts that we all try to teach other to change our viewpoint of what love is.

    It is when you let go of all of this and remove any material thoughts about it that we will not just find harmony we will deeply devour the only unconditional state of being. This place of love is always going to be the challenge. For you will experience this existence interacting and changing it’s true definition as something outside of you.

    For all the thoughts you hear inside and what anyone can tell you will be filled with an opposite. These opposites have to be for them to stay in illusion of what they have come to know as love. You can chalk it up to all the inherent deflected energies that have made them see good and bad, positive and negative as a way of existence. To them the opposite of love is hate.

    The love of opposites are never the true origin of love. It comes in nature, it comes in form and once it finds a condition it is much like any label or material thing that can be processed it has to have opposites. It even becomes more of the something it is not. In a world where all things exist in label and material it will take enlightenment and take a true form of consciousness within to start to understand what is before you or anyone else. The choice to embrace the energy that can bring about the true place of love. Inside yourself!

    In a search for answers you can go inside yourself for the answer to what is love and any version of love can be left outside you. If you make it something outside you, you will always find it’s opposite. As you perfectly stated here. This was a beautiful post my friend. In a search to find unconditional love realize it is one thing and one thing only. It is the heartbeat you keep inside you that you can feel. It is the air you breathe and it is shared from any living thing that you will see in this illusion. Just realize this connection as a place to see it for the love it is!


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