Subjective Beauty

It is my belief that the most effective teachers are those who’ve lived amidst the greatest extremes. Those whose words of guidance are defined by first hand experience. There is a level of understanding that can only be achieved by having stood in the place of intimate knowing. Teachers come in all shapes and sizes. But when mine are brought to me, they must have the ability to say, “I know. I’ve been there.”

The other night I sat and watched a beautiful photo presentation of someone’s youth. With each loving picture that filled the screen, the stability of his home life became palpable. My heart softly made the realization that in this lifetime such a memory will never be mine. I can not teach what it feels like to spend one’s formative years surrounded by steadiness, security and normalcy. I can’t teach what I did not experience.

I can not teach others what it feels like to bolt from the gate knowing of their self-worth. I can not teach the feeling of never doubting in one’s ability. I can not teach how to live with blinders, for I’ve never owned any. And I can not teach how to live a life sans an inner demon or two. But I can teach how to navigate and ultimately find one’s self worth; as it was there all along. I can help others to understand the delicate dichotomy that is love and fear, confidence and doubt; as the two extremes are always up for the offering; the secret is choosing with intention and awareness. I can also advocate the benefits of a life panoramically viewed, as the best things in life are often hiding in the peripheral. And lastly, I can offer true empathy when it comes to the exhaustive work required when forming an armistice with one’s demons.

I also know prayer works, and miracles exist. More so, I know within each of us is the power to completely reshape our world – if we choose. I only know these things from facing devastation that brought me to my knees; from watching the impossible become possible; and from being forced to either reshape my world or suffocate within a life that offered no air. Often, it is when we are put to the test that we discover our deeper truths, our greatest potential and our reason for being.

There is great compassion within knowing through experience. And my words echo with the truth from my past. I am profoundly blessed to have had this particular life. Due to such, I will forever move in the direction of love. Each re-birth within myself; each level I’ve ascended; and each inner demon made to surrender carries with it its own voice. I’ve never jettisoned these parts of myself, or stifled their timbre, as they are what makes me whole. I have, however, healed them, transformed them, and given them a new platform from which to speak. It’s a continual process. But now when someone is lost, at their end, or feels so very alone, those echoing voices help me to say, “I know. I’ve been there.” And the love that lives in the sincerity of that statement is a very beautiful thing.


4 thoughts on “Subjective Beauty

  1. Lucki

    What you describe is a philosophical argument that has its origin in antiquity…Is truth objective or subjective? Are there ideal truths or is all life relative?

    Lets take the title of your work…’Subjevtive Beauty’. Is beauty purely subjective?…Is beauty mainly determined by eye of the beholder? Or is beauty objective? Is beauty something that exists ‘out there’, somewhere beyond the subject, that no matter who beholds it all see beauty?

    Lets do an experiment. Lets line up 10 ‘normal’ men in a row. Then we inform all 10 that they are part of an experiment. The experiment is to rank the beauty of two woman. Then, from a room of to side, in walk two women. They stop in front of the 10 men. Both are smiling, both water the same cloths, both have the hair styled similarly, etc. Now, the women on the right Cindy Crawford, and the woman on the left is Rosie O’Donnell. If I asked you to guess, how many would say Cindy Crawford was more beautiful THAN Rosie O’Donnell? And how many would say Rosie O’Donnell was more beautiful THAN Cindy Crawford?

    Now ask yourself…is all experience subjective…or is there a measure of objectivity, something outside of the subject, that must be recognized?

    Ok, now, would there may be a different outcome if these 10!men were asked to rank Cindy Crawford and Sandra Bullock? In this trial of experiment, we would likely expect a different outcome. Why?

    Here a thought… I will make a guess and say that all or nearly all 10 men would rank Cindy as more beautiful than Rosie…And none or few would pause more than a second to comsider their choice. But these same 10 men likely take much longer to consider the two women, and the final ranking results are likely to be more even.

    When the object becomes more similar, then the subje

    So am I alone in my experiences or are we able to deeply share experiences.

    And how would you explain empathy?

    1. SaneSamantha Post author

      I believe within your statement, “So am I alone in my experiences or are we able to deeply share experiences,” rests one of the core polarities of the human existence. We are always alone. There is no other voice within us but that of our own. Our perception is also quite distinctive to only us. And yet oddly enough, within all of this “aloneness” we are drawn to share those very same things, our voice, our perception, our experiences, with another.

      When it comes to beauty, I can only speak for myself. What is beautiful to me, may not be beautiful to someone else. Due to my inner makings, I never deem something beautiful based on outward appearances alone. Whether I am alone in this or not, I can not say. But one’s inner being, their energy, colors them. If I find someone’s inner self to be beautiful, they are forever shaded in that light. When I view them, what prompts my smile is their energy shining through. So in that case, for me, beauty is highly subjective as it is based purely on my feelings toward them.

      Although it is not required that one has a shared experience with a certain set of circumstances and feelings to be able to express compassion, I believe the understanding, the knowing, the raw familiarity with the feelings only enhances one’s ability to resonate on an intimate level. One can only appreciate the feelings of another, to a certain point when the experience is foreign to them. But if the experience is territory that they too have traveled, it allows for a level of comprehension that goes beyond even the necessity of words. It is a knowing. There is a difference between recognizing someone’s pain and knowing their pain.

      And lastly, in my opinion, all things are relative. All of life.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me on this. So wonderful when we can all share our subjectiveness. Best ~ S.


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