Black Beauty

A young girl I know is in the midst of a moment she will remember for the rest of her life; her first heartbreak. It’s a point in time that quite easily can become one of the pillars on which all other relationships rest. It is the first point in which we question our beauty and our worth.

When young, we place these decisions upon others to make. It isn’t until older that we realize the one to decide our beauty and our worth – is us. Of course, there are those who live their final day still allowing others to craft the definition that should be theirs to make. Nothing feels worse than feeling as if one is not good enough. It cuts into the core of our being. It bucks against our heart and causes a pain like no other.

There is a reason why it hurts the way it does; the conclusion we’re making about ourself, brought on by someone else’s actions, lies in harsh contrast to what our soul knows. That is why when made to feel like anything less than who we are, the pain is great; the eyes water; the heart twists.  It is one of the deepest lies we accept as true.

Please know that something quite similar is why being in love feels so sublime. Our inner being sees our beauty, our value and wants only for our critical mind to see the same. When in love, we more easily allow such a belief, and we lighten up on ourselves. Their love for us overrules the judgmental beliefs we have about ourself. As long as they love us, we believe ourselves to be lovable. That is a verdict and a power that should never be handed over to another.

People come and go. But we remain. So honor yourself by being the one to define your worth. Look inward and see your beauty. And when you spot something you feel unattractive, remember that it is you who is making that decision. Decide something different. See the beauty in those things you define as flaws. Those things we label as flaws are often what set us apart. The most valuable things in life are those that have singular irregularities. The human frame and psyche are no different. It took forty years for me to see my deeply introspective side as possessing any beauty. I saw it as only a dark shadow that followed me wherever I went. I became close friends with my darker side but never wanted it exposed as I felt no one would find joy in such deep observations. My soul had different plans however, and one day all that was within me erupted onto the page. That was the day I became a career writer. That was the day I began to live my life fully exposed. And that was the day I learned to love the person that I am.

It is up to us to decide the definition of beauty. We do not all agree upon it in the external world and yet feel no shame in holding to our opinions when it comes to those things toward which we point outward. Do the same when pointing inward. Hold true to your belief in your beauty. Those things that haunt you will only do so if continued to be smothered. Bring your darkness into the light. And if you look in the mirror and wish you looked like another, take a second look. See the color that rests in your eyes. Those colors are like gems buffed and crushed by the universe and placed in your eyes; through which you get to view the world. See the person that has faithfully accompanied you as you’ve walked the many miles of your life. This person loves you. Look back upon them and do the same. Then you will have defined your beauty.



4 thoughts on “Black Beauty

  1. bernasvibe

    Deep and rare read from this perspective on this topic..Such truth in these words! I’ve lived these words you’ve written..And I’m so glad, elated!, I got to the other side of feeling the hard-to-put-your-finger-on-yucky feeling; of not feeling good enough when the love of my life cheated on me. No, I take that back. He cheated on US..and he’s regretted it ever since. Quite honestly he regretted it soon after the damage was done..(btw we’re far better friends now that we’re divorced) But the worst at first, for me, was just not feeling good enough. As MUCH as I knew what I meant to him/knew myself that I was a dang good woman!/I still felt like absolute warmed over crap about it..And that feeling lingered for a while…too long. Once I realized it was “normal” to go through a “grieving” of the love/the marriage/the union/the BOND we shared…I was able to quit grieving. Bad thing about this process is no one can really help us through IT..There are some things we just have to get over to get over it..I really can’t describe it any other way. Again, outstanding write that made me think , alot. And I dig that! 2 thumbs UP

  2. Rustysaysarf!

    Awesome post Samantha!

    Perhaps Jesus looked onto everyone he encountered with such amazement and beauty he fell in love with all of us! The ultimate idea of non-judgement and unconditional love for all those who move amongst us.

  3. fredphillips

    Terrific post Samantha. This is why it is so important for parents to raise their children to feel good about themselves. To provide a solid foundation to deal with traumas and heartbreaks that are sure to come.

    Have an awesome day!

    1. SaneSamantha Post author

      And sadly so many parents fail to realize this. But I can’t fault anyone – we are all just bumbling along, whether evolving quickly or slowly. lol Have a wonderful weekend, my friend. Much love ~ S.


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