It is my belief that one should never attempt to live under the shadow of another; the overcast of someone who has since gone yet clouds the now. This can happen easily enough when carving out a romantic relationship; this can also happen when carving out a relationship with one’s self.
You are not the person you were even a year ago. Sometimes when one has an epiphany or other such awakening, they aren’t even the person they were the day before, the moment before. Just as its toxic to try to have a romantic relationship when there is a third-party still present, it is just as toxic if not more so, to allow one’s self to live under the labels, mind-set or failures of days gone by if they are not an accurate reflection of who you are today. I say move on.
Claim who you are now, and let the older version go. It served its purpose. If at one time you believed one thing and now have find yourself believing differently – then so be it. You have that right. You have no need to explain or apologize. In fact, when it comes to these inner workings of one’s mind and belief system I say it’s better to keep it mostly to one’s self. As others will feel inclined to hold you to your past beliefs even after you’ve moved well beyond. People like familiarity, and the new you may not be as familiar. That is something to which they must adjust. And if they value you, they will. Of course, I’ll warn you now to go easy with it, especially if the epiphany has been an exciting and life altering one. Savor it inwardly, refrain from alienating everyone by way of being a zealot. Take the time to get to know these new thoughts and feelings. They are yours, you need not force them on others.
It’s not easy, removing the shadow. As we age the shadows expand, and multiply. However, there is plenty of room to find clear skies. And a clear sky is necessary if any relationship is to grow; the one you have with another; the one you have with yourself. So step aside from the old. And claim your space in the world. If you are in a romantic relationship make certain that the only two involved are the two that are in love. And if the relationship on which you are working is private then let go off the past. It does not define you. You get the choice to do so each and every day. It’s never too late. And you never run out of chances to start over. And the source of All That Is never keeps score. So see yourself afresh and anew. If yesterday you found yourself curled in the fetal position ready to give up realize that was then, this is now. Tomorrow you may very well have your resolve again. You deserve to live under the light. Go find it. Make it your own.