Monthly Archives: August 2014



Often words from me are for when life gets hard. Typically, that’s when we need that extra voice reminding us to hold on, or let go, as the case may be. Please know, dear reader, it’s my belief that life equally brings us moments in which it hopes we have fun. When deep joy bubbles up inside us, we get to feel the magic of life moving from within. God’s breath. The hum of the Universe. So, as you embark upon your weekend, don’t overlook the importance of happiness.

Every cell in your body responds favorably when you feel joy. Your mind creates and sends out beneficial hormones when the mind and spirit are lifted. And similar to when in deep meditation, joy has a way of loosening our constraints. We become freer, more allowing. The Universe has an easier time working with us when we are in these two states. So, never underestimate the great value found when pursuing your happiness. That path, is the path to good things.

This world of ours operates using energy waves and frequencies. This is true whether we understand it or not. Pure love, pure compassion, pure joy, are high frequencies. Hate, jealousy, hoarding, are, in comparison, low frequencies. The more you tap into and remain at those higher frequencies the more open your being and in alignment with God, the Universe or whatever you like to call this vastly misunderstood and incomprehensible force that rests behind and within all things.

With this thought in mind, please stop and look at your actions when you are continually turning away from that which brings you joy. Happiness has a way of opening up the portal of hope for those who have long since given up. Shortly after allowing themselves to feel good, they suddenly envision something better for themselves. They think beyond their pain center. They find new strength and momentum that wasn’t easily found before. There is a reason for this – they changed frequencies. I once read something that I believe to be true: you can’t find the answer when focused upon the problem; they rest at different frequencies. That may seem overly simplified. But it is that simple. I can not listen to my favorite music if I keep the dial set to talk radio. I can not watch my beloved Colbert Report if my cable receiver is set to Fox News. It won’t happen. The two do not intersect. I have to change the settings to find what I want.

I plan to change the setting this weekend. I plan to embrace joy with my daughter as we amble in and out of little stores that dot the shoreline. The things I’ve been sitting with, as of late, won’t go away. But my ability to make sense of them, beyond where I have, requires a shift. I’ve given them my time, my meditative thoughts and my patience. Now this soft-spoken writer wants only to laugh. So laugh, I will. I might even don my gorillas suit, if properly prompted. While tooling down the highway with my daughter, filling the confines of my Jeep with the din of my singing, the filter that allows me to receive will open further. Joy has a cleansing ability. It often wipes away the residue that clouds our view.

If you are able to do so, and I hope you are, please seek joy. Turn up the music. Get animated. Laugh with friends or alone watching a good show. And if the fodder that makes you smile doesn’t land readily at your feet, seek it out and make it your own. Do what you have to do. Cleanse your soul. Lighten your spirit. Seek joy. You deserve to feel good. Happiness is more than a balm for the mind. Joy has the ability to recalibrate the many layers of your being, and bring you back into alignment.


Under the Moonlight

Under the Moonlight

As much as I dislike the cold that accompanies these lingering dark mornings, I savor the simplicity. As I sit in the quiet, I have only the glow from a white, rotund moon shining off to my right to illuminate my surroundings. As my thoughts drift, and time passes, the moon fades further away. It is during times like these that I find the most peace.

My world is a blank slate. I have no visual stimuli to distract me from what rests in my mind. Once the sun takes center stage, so does a plethora of distractions. But for now, things feel simple. I’m not one for clutter, not in my house nor in my mind.

Every morning I take time to pray. It is a sacred time for me. Time to stabilize myself, find my center and reconnect to who I am and what I know I need to be. I acknowledge the fact that the two are not always one. But I also acknowledge that the key to forming a more perfect union within myself is by first acknowledging that which separates me. I tend to see those things more clearly during these early morning hours.

The senses become more acute when not bombarded with outside interference. When it is dark, the ears sink deeper into a better state of hearing. And with that, as I talk to God, I often hear the soft voice which I long to hear during my busiest days; days when I can hear nothing more than the chattering voice within my mind.

The me I am with you, is the me I am with God. I tend not to veil myself from either. I’m quite convinced God appreciates my honesty. I hope you do as well. As I search, and stretch the boundaries of my preconceived limitations, I have to do so first by being honest. Sometimes I like who I see within myself, sometimes I do not. But I try to see them both with clarity.

It’s easy to assume that those who walk a spiritual path do so upon a golden road, one that embraces them and provides for easy steps. I don’t believe that to be true. I feel those who are reaching the furthest, feel the most struggle. With new knowledge comes new questions. Upon discovering new truths, we stretch to peel back another layer, reaching further and further as we go. And every time we do, we break away that which we were in able to become that which we are meant to be. Often, this is painful process. Or at least, with me it is.

Only those who have outgrown their shell feel the pain of breaking free. Its a recurrent process when continuing to grow. Only those who are not reaching, not expanding and not stretching their abilities and what they know escape this particular pain. Their pain is that of stagnation, suffocating under the weight of their own being, of spinning within the same cycle. I spent many years trapped in that perpetual, breathless state of being. Knowing what I know now, if I had to choose between the two, I would and do choose the pain associated with growth, as it allows me to breathe.

So in these early morning hours, I am always like that of a butterfly about to emerge. I notice once again that my cocoon no longer fits. I push against and release the part that no longer serves me. I try never to define myself by my cocoon. Instead I am an ever evolving creation; one that may never possess one clear definition. The tree topped vista before me is now coming into view. The stars are no longer sitting in contrasting darkness. The moon has escaped behind the trees. And the sun, like all skilled performers, is taking its time before walking out onto the stage. So with that, I will say: May this day be good to me. And may this day be good to you.


Sitting With Things



No longer do I strive to be like anyone else. I do, however, strive to be the most authentic version of myself possible, the version of me that sits closest to God. This requires that I take the time to understand myself; what it is that holds me back as well as what propels me forward. Also too, I must understand those things brought before me by the Universe.

It is important for us to learn how to sit with things. Instead of deeming my first thoughts as always correct, often now, I wait. I’d like to say that my intuition is always right. And perhaps it is. But too often intuition is masked under mental fears. It takes time to learn the subtle deviations in color between the two.

Sitting with things isn’t always a pleasant undertaking. With that said, it also isn’t a time of hand wringing. Hand wringing is caused when something touches upon our pain center. Unresolved issues blur not only our perception when looking outward, they block our view when looking within.

For me, sitting with things merely means my energy shifts from that of action to stillness. My energy turns softer. I grow a bit quieter. And it is during these times especially when I’m made to flex the muscles of patience. It is in that where I can sometimes feel the strain. But that’s okay. The moments brought before us are not always those of jumping with joy. Sometimes they are moments of sitting with uncertainty until we get things figured out.

I’ve become better at this. I’m not as impetuous as I once was. This isn’t to say that every knee-jerk reaction is wrong. What it means is that I try to act less from my mind and more from my soul. And as the mind is the first layer through which our world is filtered, sometimes we have to wait for the second shift of our being to take over, granting us a purer, soulful insight. When I’m already operating from a place of my soul then this all comes easier. But in day-to-day life that isn’t always the case. My mind is busy, my actions are many and the world requires my constant attention. It’s an effort of orchestrating the many facets of my being, for my betterment and the betterment of those around me.

While sitting we can see better if we’re the catalyst for the greater expansion of another, or if they’ve been brought before us to help bring about our change. Keeping in mind there is often an interplay between the two. During these moments of stillness we can ensure that what’s before us honors our true self. As much as I love moments when everything is aligned and fueled with momentum. That isn’t the only way life unfolds. Life can unfold with a turn that causes us to stop. Maybe to draw our attention to a possibility that will impact our course. A turn that leads to the answer to a lifelong prayer or a cautionary pause when we’re about to forfeit a dream.

Life demands our action. But sometimes the first action is to sit. If what we’re seeing is our dream, awaiting our arrival, take it in. Smile. Memorize what’s before you because heaven knows it’s been long-awaited. Then take joyful steps, dear reader. Sometimes what’s before us is there to awaken us. Our world is laid out utilizing the full spectrum – a constant dichotomy. There are moments when if we wait too long we lose our chance, as well as moments when if we don’t wait, we’ll never fully grasp what’s before us. It’s our work to know which is which.

And if you don’t know what to do, look within. It is there where you’ll find your answer. Fears that push sit next to those that bind; under which rest your soul’s purpose, your joy and your dreams. It’s all there. Look with broad, allowing eyes. Look under your many layers. Get clear.

As for me, as for today, I’m sitting.



Man Cake

In need of the latest, hippest word used to describe a handsome man, I browsed around at for awhile. Having read a few entries, I can now say that my mind is the proud new owner of a few images I wish I could disown. However, I did find the term: Man Cake.

My blog posts are personal; intimate portrayals of what lives in my heart and mind. This is the first entry however, where I reached out to friends and colleagues. Quite simply, I wanted to know: what a woman wants most in a man. Their answers bolstered my belief in what rests behind the eyes and within the heart of a quality woman.

Thus far, not one physical, nor external, attribute has been mentioned. No large gender parts. No hefty bank accounts. No bulging muscles. No sports cars. No Armani suits, and no French accents. The votes are in: women want kindness and honesty.

When a woman knows herself – she then knows what she wants in a man. The more she allows her depth to rise to the surface, she is drawn to equal depth in a man. To the man with slick hair, and flexed muscles – you may indeed land a woman. I question, however, the quality of the woman you’ll land. It seems superficiality attracts superficiality. Whereas, depth and quality gravitate toward depth and quality. Like wine to an entrée – it’s all in the pairing.

Good women tend to want a man who flies below the radar. His strength solid, but not flaunted. His mind keen, but with no desire to force his intellect upon others. His compassion and attentiveness genuine. His humanity touching beyond those closest to him. Like good lighting, humility and humor always make a man more attractive in a woman’s eyes. As does honesty and integrity. Women don’t want a man who clamors for the spotlight. Instead, they’re drawn to a man who’s content letting it shine upon others.

Men probably cringe to hear it, but women like a man that’s as strong as he is tender. There’s a primal need within every good woman to have a man that can span these two extremes. Men can’t fault women for wanting that, anymore than women can fault men for wanting a woman who’ll imbue into his life nurturing gentleness, yet unleash upon him her passions in the bedroom. We all have a reason for wanting what we want. With our desires deep and spanning, we want someone to fall into line with those desires; in the doing, we find balance.

I tend to like a good Côtes du Rhône regardless of my entrée. Something about the mix, suites me. When it comes to the man in my life, the same proves true. We all have individual tastes to satisfy. When I want to nibble upon an ear, it needs to be connected to a very clever mind. When I want to be held, the arms that hold me need to be genuine and sincere. And when I want to hear someone’s laughter, it will be the voice of one that sees life with the same twisted view. Oh yes, dear reader, I know what I want. Sadly, it was a discovery that took far too long for me to make. But believe me when I say, as personal discoveries go, it’s one of the most important. So as you set out, remember, it’s all acceptable – our wants and likes. Make no apologies, and don’t settle for less. Be true to you, from there – pair it well.


A Fluid Life

Vintage boating

I’ve never been one to write with a saccharin touch. Honesty has always been a component within my underwaters. And I’m quite certain it always will. My readers have come to know that if they are wanting fluffy words that sit on the tongue like cotton candy, they need not let their eyes settled onto my page. However, I don’t think the truth should bring a person down. Glib, cheery words during my most unsettling moments have never given me strength. Yet, the truth has empowered me time and time again. And the truth is, life consists of both the good and the bad. The trick is to not become those moments. Instead, let them flow. Ride it out. You are the ship, the moments are the waters. Sail through.

If you noticed you’re experiencing one of life’s more enjoyable offerings, don’t cling to it. Don’t drop anchor and demand that nothing ever change. Once you do you begin to rob it of its beauty. You begin to fear how it will be once it is gone. Just let the beauty flow through and around you. Soak it in. Breathe it in. Allow it to leave its imprint upon your emotional memory. Then let it be. If you don’t put a death hold on it, then you’ve matched the energy, and all like energy finds its way back to one another. And that emotional impression will be there for you when you most need a soft place to rest your mind. If a moment lifts your heart within your chest, it’s a gift. Be sure to say thank you. Thankfulness is a match to the divine. And the more you keep yourself matched to the divine the better life becomes.

If, on the other hand, you are nestled deep within one of life’s more unsettling moments, again, don’t become the moment. Allow your energy to remain soft. Try not to steel yourself as a way of protection. All you’re doing is becoming a vibrational match to that which you are trying hard to resist. Before you know it, everything turns cold and rough around you. Not because that is all life has to offer, but because life is working to match the energy you are emitting. Often some of our most valuable lessons come by way of difficult moments. They happen not because you failed, but because there was something key that could only be learned in that particular way. So, pay attention to them. The better you are at responding to those ugly moments, impacts greatly how often they will return.

Now, all of this may sound too simplified. I know. There are times when I am riding higher than a kite, just to notice the ground beneath me has fallen way. Life happens. All of it moves through our journey. If you are to practice anything I would advise that you practice not becoming the moment, simply allow the moment its due. Allow both the good and the bad to exist, all the while remain true to who you are. Believing that all is well is not the simplistic ways of optimistic folly. It is a state of being that has great implications on one’s life. When one’s vibrational plateau is that all is well, then when all situations arise, and they always do, life moves them along easier, softer. We are met with more experiences that match our belief, so predominantly speaking, wellness becomes our predominant experience. And the bad times are met with a centered mind and a more fortified heart. We know that it will pass and that we will be okay. In my opinion, this is a crucial knowing along one’s spiritual evolution.

Allow yourself a good deal of slack. If you notice you are not filled with joy but instead are possessing a fuck it sort of disposition, let it ride. Let it flow through you. We are spirits dwelling within these human forms that are often hindered by our mind. The mind has many glitches. Try not to get too worked up about it all. Allow yourself to flow through your emotions just like you are trying to allow life to flow through its many happenings. Fate brings us both the good and the bad, it’s all part of the material that helps our souls grow. So, again, look at what comes your way, then let it flow. A bad day will pass as quickly as the best day of your life. They are all fluid. But it’s who you are and how you respond to each that’s key. It’s in those moments that you are given the opportunity for your soul to expand, and also to set the course of what comes your way.


Doesn’t Really Matter To Me

How We Got Here

A few shifts have happened in my life over these last few months. All of which have caused me to step back. I don’t believe I’ve ever entered a more contemplative, meditative, healing stage of my life. I have paused. But as I do, I’ve often found myself looking back over the things I’ve shared with you. When I write I rarely do so with preconceived intent. I merely allow it to flow. The words that emerge are often meant for my eyes as much as much as yours. It was written years ago, but the below post spoke to me today. Perhaps it will also speak to you.

I believe both in creation and in evolution. It’s safe to say all things were created, somehow. It’s also safe to say that most everything we see around us, including us, has evolved, somewhat. Evolution has no boundaries. We evolve spiritually, physically and mentally. As we should. We wouldn’t develop otherwise.

My mind can do nothing but blend the two methods. It’s the how and when that seem to cause the riff for others. Many of the creationist firmly believe, and won’t consider anything but, the theory that mankind was created by God, who brought us about one fateful day when creating Adam. This being the story, as written in the Bible.

I do better when viewing the Bible less like a biography, and more like an analogical reference book, with a heavy use for metaphors. Maybe that’s because I can’t imagine a Being that creates a person (Adam), then upon deciding another is needed, reaches down and uses one of Adam’s ribs to do so. It simply goes against logic. My first thought is: Why didn’t He make a completely new person, using all new parts? After all, He just made Adam. Heck, He just made – everything. Did He also swipe various parts from other critters? Did He grab an extra leg from a centipede and use it to make the caterpillar? I wasn’t there. I don’t know. But I highly doubt it. I do feel however, when the story of man’s creation, as told in the Bible, is looked at abstractly, great meaning can be found; life altering meaning.

Again, another question that settles into my mind is, if we are to take the text literally, then was this text accurately transcribed, and re-transcribed. The Bible is a version after all. I have to wonder how the story went in the first version. Did the first version go over so dreadfully with the masses or priests that it needed slight, or substantial modification? All of which are questions to which I’ll never get answers. I do know this, if someone told me a story, but prefaced it by saying, this is a version of what really happened; I’d question it considerably. Don’t even get me started on all the books that were left out of the final manuscript we now have before us.

This force that resides behind and within all things, causes big bangs, black holes, and creates the far-reaching galaxies, also resides within me and within you. That I do know. And nothing about that belief challenges my spirituality. Of course, my spirituality rests more in the cosmos than in the pages of a book or any teachings that come from the mouth of mankind. Mankind is no more perfect than an apple tree; which in addition to creating good apples, often bears a few pieces of fruit that are dark and pitted.

If I’m the descendant of an ape; I don’t mind. I still see the divine energy in that theory. Even the best artisan has to begin somewhere, usually creating roughly etched, or crudely shaped sculptures before settling on a masterpiece. If I came straight from Adam; I don’t mind. If this energy force can create planets and the beauty of a sunset, then it probably took no more than a few minutes to create a human.

In my opinion, how we were brought about doesn’t have to fit into any certain religious mold. Religion is man made, life energy is not. To me, religion is man’s attempt to control the uncontrollable; to rationalize that which is beyond comprehension. Maybe the plan was to create using evolution. Of course, even I know, and willingly admit, that I’m simplifying something that so many don’t want made simple. No one wants to be challenged about their beliefs. I don’t feel challenged about it. My mind is open, and I like it that way.


Take Me to Church


I’ve been asked by a few, where it is I go when communing with God; to what church do I belong. Let me take this opportunity to explain what, very well, may be the most important part of who I am: My relationship with God.

I go to church often. It would be more accurate to say, rarely am I not in church. My relationship with God does not follow anyone else’s guidelines except those of my own. The who, what and where of it, are all up to me. Most often, I feel God’s presence when surrounded by music. There have been moments when a simple song has altered my entire course. Something about the energy within the rhythm resonated with my own, and the synchronicity changed me. Music was the constant backdrop as I wrote my first novel, and almost always, it plays when I write these posts. Actually, unless listening to nature, music is almost always playing in my world.

It might surprise some of you to know that I also feel the presence of God as the straight pipes on my Harley scrape along the pavement on a perfectly banked curve. Those moments are like heaven, to me. Every chakra within me spins to life as I lean deeper into gravity’s pull. To some it may seem like God has no place within those seemingly dangerous moments. I disagree. God is in all things. So yes, God rides my Harley with me as I routinely push the envelope. God also stands with me as I stare off quietly while seated along the coastline. Just like the sound of the wind swirling through the trees, surely the chorus of  heaven sings within the waves. God is in the serene moments, and God is in the one’s where we feel most infused with life; during moments of utter silence and when sounded by laughter. God is there when we are at rest and when something takes our breath away. And isn’t that how it should be?

Over the last few months I’ve been sitting quietly within myself. I arrived at this place due to reaching an impasse. An impasse is an important marker. Or at least, they are to me. In those moments we’re made to hit the pause button. There we sit. We can either turn around; which defeats growth. Or we can take the time to evaluate where we’re at, make some changes if necessary, then press on; which defines growth.

Growth only happens by pressing through that which was. Growth is always new. It’s the embodiment of change. Everything in life comes about via change. Some welcomed, some not. Some comes with ease, and some with discomfort. The other option is stagnation. And to me, stagnation is the one place where I least feel the presence of God.

It’s good to take stock every now and again. We may not like what we see when we do, but that’s life. Life is not perfect. We are not perfect. Please remember though, that life does get more fun when we stop trying to demand that it fit within certain guidelines. And the last thing I want to stuff in a box is my time with God. It’s important that we take a moment to figure out what works for us. Life is singular. Your journey is personal. So dear reader, take those pause moments when they are given and look around. There is a reason why you’ve arrived here. Perhaps something is trying to get your attention. Maybe changes need to be made. Either way, while there, take time to feel the energy of life. As for me, I’ll be spending my weekend surrounded by what is church to me: music and water. Not only do I find God in these two things, I often find me.