In need of the latest, hippest word used to describe a handsome man, I browsed around at UrbanDictionary.com for awhile. Having read a few entries, I can now say that my mind is the proud new owner of a few images I wish I could disown. However, I did find the term: Man Cake.
My blog posts are personal; intimate portrayals of what lives in my heart and mind. This is the first entry however, where I reached out to friends and colleagues. Quite simply, I wanted to know: what a woman wants most in a man. Their answers bolstered my belief in what rests behind the eyes and within the heart of a quality woman.
Thus far, not one physical, nor external, attribute has been mentioned. No large gender parts. No hefty bank accounts. No bulging muscles. No sports cars. No Armani suits, and no French accents. The votes are in: women want kindness and honesty.
When a woman knows herself – she then knows what she wants in a man. The more she allows her depth to rise to the surface, she is drawn to equal depth in a man. To the man with slick hair, and flexed muscles – you may indeed land a woman. I question, however, the quality of the woman you’ll land. It seems superficiality attracts superficiality. Whereas, depth and quality gravitate toward depth and quality. Like wine to an entrée – it’s all in the pairing.
Good women tend to want a man who flies below the radar. His strength solid, but not flaunted. His mind keen, but with no desire to force his intellect upon others. His compassion and attentiveness genuine. His humanity touching beyond those closest to him. Like good lighting, humility and humor always make a man more attractive in a woman’s eyes. As does honesty and integrity. Women don’t want a man who clamors for the spotlight. Instead, they’re drawn to a man who’s content letting it shine upon others.
Men probably cringe to hear it, but women like a man that’s as strong as he is tender. There’s a primal need within every good woman to have a man that can span these two extremes. Men can’t fault women for wanting that, anymore than women can fault men for wanting a woman who’ll imbue into his life nurturing gentleness, yet unleash upon him her passions in the bedroom. We all have a reason for wanting what we want. With our desires deep and spanning, we want someone to fall into line with those desires; in the doing, we find balance.
I tend to like a good Côtes du Rhône regardless of my entrée. Something about the mix, suites me. When it comes to the man in my life, the same proves true. We all have individual tastes to satisfy. When I want to nibble upon an ear, it needs to be connected to a very clever mind. When I want to be held, the arms that hold me need to be genuine and sincere. And when I want to hear someone’s laughter, it will be the voice of one that sees life with the same twisted view. Oh yes, dear reader, I know what I want. Sadly, it was a discovery that took far too long for me to make. But believe me when I say, as personal discoveries go, it’s one of the most important. So as you set out, remember, it’s all acceptable – our wants and likes. Make no apologies, and don’t settle for less. Be true to you, from there – pair it well.