In Relation

I’ve been thinking how our life experience is not meant to be insular. Everything we do is in relation to something. Its through our exposure to others that we learn about ourselves. I should say, we have the opportunity. Often, we see others as being separate from us. I don’t believe that’s so. 

People bring out the best in us. They can also bring out the worst. The key is that its being brought out. Meaning, it was already there. For the most part, they didn’t create it.

I think we can meet the most detestable of individuals and, depending upon where we are within ourselves, it may not ruffle one feather. We don’t resonate with their energy. We don’t operate on their vibrational level. We witness it. We see it. But we aren’t it. But also, we can meet the most lovely of individuals and, depending upon the love we possess within ourselves, we can either bask in the mutually swirling love or not notice it’s even there. We can’t experience beyond what we are.

Life is constantly giving us opportunities to take stock of where we are. Its near impossible to not know where we reside vibrationally. We work in relation to others and experiences. How we handle life reveals where we are within ourselves. I have many moments where I have to stop and tell myself to acknowledge how I feel. I do this during both good times and not so good times. I do this because there are moments when I am truly baffled by myself. And in those times, I have to ask myself why something is making me feel so peculiarly wonderful or bothering me to the point where I stare at the ceiling at 2am; causing me to kick a foot out from under the covers in exasperation.

And with the things that upset me, if I’m brave and honest enough to dig deeper – I almost always find an area within myself that’s been spotlighted; where my true feelings don’t match what I tell myself.

Telling yourself something does not always mean it’s what you believe. With somethings we’re all talk. We make that discovery when exposed to something unexpected. It’s up to us to heal it or ignore it. I don’t believe we are meant to be perfect. We don’t have to do anything. But I will say dear reader, often when we ignore something it’ll circle back. Usually, growing with intensity and depth.

I’ve been through some rough stuff. And it’s entirely up to me how I view those events. Some I’ve handled well. Some not so well. What I know is this, I didn’t want any of them. But they were brought into my life for a reason. I may never fully know why. But I see what came from them. What I chose to take from them. And in many ways, as almost unimaginable as it may sound, I’m not entirely sure I’d change anything. I lived through them. So what I’m trying to say is this: whatever it is that you may be experiencing, take a moment to pause. Listen to your body. Pay attention to how you feel. What its telling you. Listen without judgement. You need to be your own safe space. And in the moments when you feel completely ripped to shreds. Just know that you have within you everything you need to pull from the moment what is necessary to rise higher.


2 thoughts on “In Relation

  1. Victoria Martins


    I first found this blog through the “As the Water Carries Me” post. I don’t remember exactly when that was, but I do know this: it left a mark. My adolescence had just died and I was left to face adulthood and all the trials of becoming a woman. I was feeling very lost, not really sure where I started and where I ended; or simply put, not really sure of who I was. Your words brought me back to myself back then.

    Today, I was feeling off after waking up from a bad dream. This bad dream made me finally connect with the grief of a lost friendship and I got to realize how much that hurt me. And now, once again, you seem to meet me where I stand, coincidentally.

    Thank you for helping me elaborate on my feelings by writing about your own.

    I wish you a lot of happiness and love in the near future.

    Love, Victoria

    1. SaneSamantha Post author

      Dearest Victoria,

      Thank you for taking this moment to share with me. I am deeply appreciative.

      Dreams are amazing. How they can, at times, reveal something we’ve blocked with our conscious mind. I’m glad you were shown what you needed to see, and I hope now the healing can begin.

      Friendships are so unique in how they can come and go. For some reasons we humans equate duration with substance. And yet, I don’t believe that’s true at all. Some of the most impactful and poignant friendships I’ve had were only for a short season. As for me, I still grieve the loss of certain friendships. In those moments I silently send love to them, wherever they are. There was something important there, or I wouldn’t be grieving. And I’m thankful I had that opportunity with them. My deeper love for them remains.

      Thank you again for sharing with me.

      Love to you, dear friend.



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