Tag Archives: driving

Drive Through the Night

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I remember once driving through the night. Honestly dear reader, I wasn’t just driving, I was escaping. I had everything I owned crammed into a Ryder Truck, my Acura in tow, my two year old son and mother beside me. I drove and I drove until the lights of Phoenix were far behind me. There comes a time for all of us when we have to take big steps toward freedom. Sometimes I think all I’ve done is taken big steps. At this point in the game, I’m an Olympian Pole Vaulter. But please know this, I wouldn’t change a thing.

We are all on a journey. Baby steps are just as valuable as pole vaulting. Actually, you can’t do one without having first done the other. So if you are finding yourself having to take big steps or baby steps to start something new, know that you are not alone. The one’s who don’t take those steps are those that will, most likely, be tasked with the same struggles throughout their life or perhaps in a different life. As for me, I try to stop the bad cycles when I recognize them.

One of the biggest cycles we all face is in learning to let go. Often, this means letting go of a relationship. Life is about relationships. We live an existence that is in relationship to what’s around us. Letting go of a steady paycheck can be devastating. Letting go of a much loved home is brutal. Letting go of someone you love is near crippling. Yet, there comes a time, when that is exactly what we are faced with doing. We must shift our direction, lift the energy, and in doing so, allow in something new.

And we know when its time, don’t we? In our core we know. From there, we usually fight it. I will say this, it does get easier. But I’ll also say that it never truly gets easy. Then again, I’m a tender heart. I feel things others don’t. Having said that, if I can do it, so can you.

Its okay if you notice you’re stuck. Its okay if you notice that those surrounding you don’t respect you. Its okay to realize that you took a few wrong turns along the way. Don’t judge yourself. Instead of viewing it as a set back, look at it as another step toward perfecting peacefulness. We almost never know what peace feels like until we are surrounded by the absence of it.

Its okay to take a stand. In fact, the best thing you can do for yourself is to fortify yourself with grace, look at yourself with Love and treat yourself accordingly. Often this means letting go of a few people, a few situations, a few habits. Every day is a new day to drive through the night toward making things right.

I’ve driven through the night both metaphorically and physically. Either way, it was filled with an indescribable ache, as well as an indescribable sense of freedom. With grace, let go of those things that no longer serve you. With a blessing, let go of friendships that have went beyond their season. And with a special prayer, release those mismatched loves. Both of you deserve something better.

I remember one night saying goodbye to someone that to this day I still love. As I sat in my Jeep, I felt the death. But I also felt the birth of hope for something better. Since then I’ve let go of people, places and things. It must be where I am in my journey. And I’m doing my best to move forward without too tight of a hold on anything. No map. Just my senses tuned to my core and the stars above. Now, if you’re needing to let go, do so with an open heart. Take a moment to look up and into the night sky. Breathe. Trust the Universe. It won’t let you down. Its time to shake it off and start again. Something better awaits. But it begins with you.

Sane

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Driving Meditation

I’ve always been fascinated by the way the mind changes when driving down the open road; how one’s thoughts spread across the miles. At least, such is the case with me.

When the road is given a chance to unfurl beneath me, so do the long ribbons of thought within my mind. Thoughts held tight and constricted like a ball, loosen. Like tightly weaved fabric, once the threads relax, they soften. Released are the concerns that once held my mind knotted. New ideas suddenly move in where previously there was no room. Fantasies are given a chance to whimsically dance. Hopes and daydreams take center stage without conformity or  boundary. Old memories long forgotten suddenly reappear. And sweet recollections are played over and over, allowing me the chance to savor every nuance that escaped my focus while in the moment of doing.

If you didn’t already know, now you do – I’m a driver. I tend to like that spot that lives behind the wheel. But then again, I like that spot when it comes to my life, as well. During times when my mental senses won’t loosen, characters sit speechless and the only thoughts filling my mind are one’s of frustration – I go for a ride. I escape. As the rpm’s and music elevate, all that tightened my mind dissipates. I’m given the chance to meditate with the miles.

I have to believe that many of us gravitate to this place of physical movement, as it provides us with the tangibility of the energy that moves around us. We become one with the movement that forever swirls without our notice. As our gaze is directed forward down the road, our peripheral is entertained on both sides by the world gliding effortlessly past us. We are the embodiment of energy on so many levels, our form, our thoughts. It is no wonder we resonate with the feeling of being propelled across the earth.

I have solved more problems, arrived at more revelations and had the most delicious thoughts behind the wheel. Many a scene from my novels was scribbled onto the back of envelopes while traveling down the road. The title for my second novel, Chasing Nirvana, fell into my mind while driving through the twisting Hollywood hills. And so did the irony that rests invisibly behind the title.

One day I will take that long road trip along Route 66; maybe not in a vintage convertible as I see it in my head. I do like my comforts, after all. But one way or another I will make the trek. And when I do, I’m certain a trilogy of words will emerge, a new invention will be conjured and some of my fondest memories will be allowed to play on a continual loop.

How it is that moving down the road allows me so easily to move within, I do not know. Quite honestly, I don’t need to know. What I do know is, we all look for a way to loosen the tight threads of our mind; strings of every day life; the bundled cords of routine and obligation. Just like our body longs for sleep, our mind longs for release. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t look for the subtle liberation of a good drink, meditation that takes us to that place of stillness or the open road where our mind is set free. And with that, whether you are chasing, escaping or just allowing your mind to run untethered – enjoy the ride.

Sane