Tag Archives: metaphysical

Its Beauty is Your beauty

Hello Dear Reader

It feels like a lifetime since I’ve last whispered in your ear, dear reader. It’s an odd thing, being a writer. One would think I’d just sit down, on a whim, and write. That’s not the case. At least, it’s not for me. Instead, things have to be just right. If I have my way, the moon must be visible and shining down on me. The music must be flowing through me in such a way that we become one. And, lastly, I have to be seated behind my trusty MacBook Air. Change one thing, and anxiety washes over me and I begin to question if I know how to put anything of substance onto the page. Oh the mind, it can be our greatest ally. And so often, it can be our greatest foe.

You see, dear reader, this MacBook Air of mine that has aided me in writing numerous posts, novels and children’s stories is growing tired. I have to wait as it catches up with a mind that screams along at unsettling speeds. And as for the moon, its been awhile since I’ve had it shining down on me. One day I will have a desk that sits under the glow of its nurturing light again. But the music, it never fails me. And thank God for that. Truly.

Too much time has passed since I’ve written. A lot of life has unfurled beneath me. Too much to write about, but just know this: I am still sailing forward. I am at the helm, looking out at the horizon with wonder and delight. The waves, well, they do what they do. More often than not though, there is calm. And when I do look back and notice the the rough seas, I do so with gratitude knowing that, once again, something kept me upright. My time of having to plunge deep grows less and less.

So, if you are in the midst of underwater discoveries yourself, take heart, one day you will buoy up and with it, not only will you enjoy breathing, but you will breathe knowing who you are. There is mastery in that. Sometimes I wonder if that is why we are here; to discover who we are – and then love ourselves once we know. Love, that’s what it’s all about. But first it starts within. If you can’t love you – loving another is counterfeit. Love moves outward. The Universe rests within you. You are made of the stars. Why would Source do it any other way?

Recently, I went on a trip with my brother. We spread my father’s ashes along a small creek nestled into the side of a mountain. I watched as his physical form was embraced by the water and returned from which it came. And it felt right. Life alteringly difficult, but very, very right. I flew above my brother and I, and watched our star-dust beings return my father into its physical home. Pure. Divine. Transcendent. I hope I have as beautiful an end. In the months since I’ve been thinking a lot about the gap between the soul and the physical. There is a huge gap and yet no gap. The soul is one with everything. All the while being completely separate. I love the awe-inspiring gap. I love having one foot in this world and one foot someplace else. My awareness of this is often overwhelming. But I wouldn’t want it any other way. Its just who I am.

I love that ‘someplace else.’ It’s home to me. It is the place best described as being closer to the stars. It is the place where energy runs free. Its exhilarating. Its passionate. Its unbridled. And it is like air to me. It’s in music. Its in laughter. Its in the way our heart fills unexpectedly with emotion. And I know its seen in my eyes.

We are all so much more than we believe ourselves to be. The essence of who we are is there for the taking. If we allow ourselves to tap into it, then become it. And it is love. Love is Source and Love is all there is. It’s from where we came. And it is where we will return. So smile. Dance. Let the music flow through you. Look up and give the stars a nod. Its beauty is your beauty. Love.

Sane

 

Soundtrack:

Mondo Cozmo – Shine

MISSIO – Middle Fingers

Van Morrison – Into The Mystic

The Strumbellas – We Don’t Know

Being Good to Me

BeingGoodtoMe

Corrupt verb \kə-ˈrəpt\ : to cause (someone or something) to become dishonest, immoral, etc. : to change (something) so that it is less pure or valuable.

It was shown to me, during a very dark period in my life that the best thing I can do for my children is to be good to me. This stood in contrast to all I had ever known. But as this message came by way of divine intervention, I chose to trust instead of question. And from that moment a large part of my life’s purpose was defined.

You see, for quite a long time, I had been operating under the belief that my job on earth was to raise my children. I did not value myself, so much. Instead, I valued them far more than I valued me. It sounds noble. It sounds like the perfect act of love. But for those who believe in God the father, it’s a skewed premise. If God is the father, then all of us are his children. All of us are of value. My life was not one meant to be of service to my children. If anything, I was doing my children a disservice by not placing more value on me.

Children learn by way of example. So love me. By watching, and by falling under the shadow of a life well-lived, children know to do the same. These were the words given to me. I listened. It is the same guidance I now give others. To God, we are all of value. We are the embodiment of beauty. But it is for us to seek out and find joy. Joy is a singular, personal thing. Our children learn to seek by first watching our search. So seek I did. And seek I do.

It was revealed to me that up until then I was showing my children a slow suicide of sorts. My smile did not emerge from internal joy. It was done out of duty to my children. But children feel the energy that we work to hide. Wherein I thought the large home filled with all they had asked was a testament to my parental dedication, it was shown to me that I hadn’t even started parenting yet. I’m thankful for the depths of my depression, back then. I broke open. And when I did I got real with God and God got real with me. The best thing you can do for your children is to live and live well. It is not selfish. It is by watching you love your life that they will one day do the same.

It is much like the necessity of placing the oxygen mask on one’s self so that they are able to help others do the same. God did not place you here out of hopes that you would sacrifice the divine thing that is you. Put your oxygen mask on. The universe is waiting for you to inhale, dear reader. Breathe deep.

On a recent car ride my son broke the silence by talking about his hopes in a bride one day. I sat quiet. I allowed him the ease of speaking without my interrupted words. He then said, “I hope to find a woman who has a mind much like your ’s mom. It seems like no matter what life has thrown at you, it’s never corrupted you.” My heart swelled. Tears filled my eyes. It seems I’ve done something right. Oh yes, life has thrown a good deal my way. But I don’t hide life. And no longer do I deny my own joy. There is no trophy awarded us as parents. If ever there were, I would graciously decline. The only things I want sitting on my shelf are pictures; not just of them, but also of me. I want to see that I raised us all to live well. Each of us is here to experience a joy that is singular to us, defined by us. Go find your joy, dear reader. By doing so, you are parenting. You are showing those that are watching that they can do the same. Trust me.

To all those that are raising others.

Sane