Tag Archives: peace

Just An Observation

Hedy Lamarr, 1940s

I’ve been an observer all my life. Often it feels like there’s a thin veil that separates me from the real world. Through this veil though, I can see more clearly than those who are standing on the other side. It has been the single best thing about being me, and the single worst. Its made me feel like an outsider, and yet, on a broader scale, it’s allowed me to feel more in touch with the world; to see beyond the illusion of day to day life. A true double-edged sword.

Today while walking back from the market, my sack filled with the essentials: salsa, craft beer and Panda Puff cereal, I noticed the vibrancy of the grass, I breathed deep the smell of green. I watched a Monarch butterfly flit across my path. I noticed the root that poked itself precariously above the sandy ground, and wondered to which tree it belonged. And upon entering my home I smelled the fresh cucumbers resting on the counter, and was instantly transported to when I was young, and our home smelled of cucumbers and my mom’s fried chicken. No one knew how to fill a house with the smell of good food better than my mother. 

My life has been spent in observation. It’s made me a better writer; noticing the nuances help to paint a better picture. The way Radio Shack tech smelled. The peculiar cool chill that used to fill the air on a July 4th night in northern Michigan while waiting for fireworks to light the sky. The way a friends’ face lights up when they see you arrive. The way people often move like ants in a busy downtown. The comforting sound of an airplane flying in the distance.

I also have, and do, observe things that make my heart ache. We all have. Some feel it deeper. But, we all feel it. My youth was filled with things I didn’t want to observe. Feelings I didn’t want to feel. Many of those things have taken decades to unwind. But also too, they’ve helped me to develop a part of myself, an emotional muscle that has allowed me to go deeper – even during the worst of it. When I think back to an alcoholic father, I could see solely what rested on the surface. Please know, the surface provided more than enough to absorb. But, with time, I’ve come to see the man behind those eyes. The one that only wanted peace. I loved that man. He was a good human.

My son is a cancer survivor. There were moments, the residual of which, I still feel to this day like the light stickiness of humidity on a hot day. But also too, I remember his first words after brain surgery. I remember how the high arch of his eyebrow when listening intently remained even when he had to practice walking again. I remember too, how the birds chirped outside the hospital even when I didn’t know if he would live.

Life is tricky. It’s filled with everything, always. The true dichotomy of human existence. The good, the bad and everything in between. I used to rail against God for having ushered onto my existence so much bad. When your world crumbles, it’s hard not to. And yet, once the dust settled, the Universe spoke – as it always does – and it was shown to me that there was something else for me to see. I can’t say I always liked what I had to see. I didn’t always understand what I had to see. But I knew enough to allow in a different interpretation. And within that, I found peace. 

On that note dear reader, I want to say, that it is my deepest hope and intent, that you find peace with whatever it is that you see. And if you don’t, if you can’t, give it time. Look away for awhile. Notice the butterfly. Notice the green. Sometimes Life speaks to us only when we stop looking at what’s in front of us.

Sane

Thank you

From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Never before has it been so apparent to tell those who give a damn from those who don’t. It’s as though the Universe lifted the veil making it easy to identify who gives a flying fuck about others from those who don’t. And to those who care about me, thank you.

Dear reader, when you wear a mask to prevent possibly spreading a virus onto others, you are telling me you give a damn about me. And for that, I thank you. To you, this post is written. To the rest of you, go fuck your self righteous selves. I’m tired of you and you’re higher than thou excuses for your behavior. As a writer it pains me to admit this, but actions speak louder than words. Check yourselves. Check your actions. Look in the mirror and ask yourself why you believe you matter more than anyone else. You don’t.

I’m madder than hell with those who use words to mask their incredible insensitivities toward humanity. Fuck you.

Dear reader, I write this blog to remind us that we aren’t alone. It’s super easy right now to feel alone. But you’re not. You are surrounded by exceptional people. You may not know their names. You may never share a hug with them. But they are there, and their numbers are great. So, moving forward, I want everyone to let their gaze fall upon those who have taken that outward step to protect you. Their actions are true to Source. All That Is, is Love. Love gives a damn. Love reaches further to help others. Love protects. And that is what wearing a mask does – it protects others. And there is no greater outward sign of love than that. 

I don’t know how well my heart would handle coming down with this particular virus. Without going into too much detail, I don’t think it would do all that well. So to those who choose to protect me, thank you. You don’t know that about me when you walk past me. Which makes it all the more impactful. It’s caring for the sake of caring.

Dear reader, the Universe is watching and responding. What you are doing, as simple of an act as it is, represents who you are. And who you are is someone who doesn’t want to risk harming anyone; one of the most basic tenets of love. That’s why I wear one. Even though I feel like I’m suffocating while wearing it, I do it. I do it to protect you. Is it bothersome, yes. Yes, it is. So is driving the speed limit or staying in my lane. But I do it. Because if I didn’t, who knows the wake of damage I’d leave behind me. Miles ahead I may be fine, but those I left behind might not be. 

Ugliness is magnified right now. But, I want you to look for the caretakers, the peacemakers, the mask wearers. Those who are showing up with love as their guide. At first you may not see them, they aren’t thumping their chests loudly. They aren’t acting as if the world revolves around them. But they are there. I want you to look for them. Notice them.

Love is kind. Love helps. Love encourages and uplifts. Love is inclusive. Love unites. Love gives a damn about those around them.

And if my bluntness offends anyone, I do not apologize. Because there are no other words that embody the true intent of what I want to express here, other than the ones I have chosen. I feel good with them. My compass is still pointing true north. 

Sane

But I AM Getting Better

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I’ve caught myself doing something that I really don’t care for. More than that, I think it goes against everything I believe and teach. So I’ve stopped. Or at least, I’ve been trying to. And overall, I’m getting better at it. I used to say that I stink at social media. And building a company and a brand in today’s world requires that one be savvy and diligent at social media. You can imagine, then, my disappointment with myself each and every time I let this most vital aspect of marketing slip. But, I’m getting better at it. And that is my new mantra.

I’m honest to the nth degree. A noble quality, but also one that’s a real pain in the ass, at times. I like to be clear and exact. So if I stink at something I own it. Yet, me believing I stink at social media, and then throwing more energy behind it by voicing it, only keeps it in play. Its like throwing a ball into the air then being upset that it is always up in the air.

Its true, I am not pleased with my inclinations toward social media. Whereas others rarely miss a beat with it, I forget about it completely for days on end. Successful businesses keep themselves in front of the customer. Yet, I often catch myself questioning if I have anything new from the business to post. It isn’t about new though, its about exposure. Or so I’ve learned. So I try. And I try some more. Then a few days will pass and I find myself not only posting nothing, but following it up by repeating my self proclaimed prophecy, “I stink at marketing!” Usually with a fist in the air. Here I am, week after week, giving life to a comment that sits polar opposite to my spiritual teaching and the heart of what my company is about – believing in oneself and potential.

So although I am not where I want to be regarding my marketing drive and acumen, I’m getting better. Just like I’m getting better at monitoring the words I speak and the thoughts I think. I’m getting better at looking at myself with loving eyes and accepting who I am for what I am, and viewing all of it appreciation and acceptance. I’m also getting better at being less apologetic for living my life by my rules; for deciding what is best for me according to me and no one else, including the media.

I’m getting better at paving my way through life in a manner that sits closer to alignment with my authentic self and All That Is. I’m getting better at not beating myself up for not looking twenty years younger. On that note, I’m getting better at loving how I’m aging; loving the me that counts dancing in the dark with a full glass of wine in hand as exercise and the me that so often opts for reading instead of jogging.

Sometimes we beat ourselves up for not having achieved whatever it is that rests on the other side of the illusory finish line, well before we’ve even learned to walk or started the race. Instead, let’s start this week off by noticing the small things that we do; the little gains. Let’s notice that we’ve noticed. And take it from there. Awareness is everything. So if, at the very least, you’ve become aware that the words coming from your mouth and the judgements within your mind aren’t falling in line with what makes you feel good, take heart, as that is the first step. Just the fact that you felt pinged by your misalignment means you are on your way. And the more you notice the easier it gets. You will pick up momentum. Your words become your truth. And your truth shapes your perception.

You don’t have to lie to yourself. Lies are corrosive and out of alignment with your Highest Self. All you need to do is notice the small movement; the ping. You can not achieve or be anything beyond what you believe. So believe that you’re getting better at all this. And in time, you will be.

Samantha aka Sane

Freedom

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Women’s Air Service Pilots (WASPs), 1944

As many of you know, I’m a spiritual person; not only is it my walk, it’s been my life raft. It’s been the only lens through which I can view this world with love. It has been the only air pure enough for me to breathe. Love, to me, is the essence of God.

The ripple effect from love brings calm waters. The ripple effect from fear brings turbulence. We sail both. Life contains the dichotomy of All That Is.

Please know that this type of love is not the kind of unicorns and rainbows. It simply means honoring All, to the best of my ability. Life feels better when I do. I can breathe. I release the fearful inclinations to tighten and control. Instead, I let go and let it be. In that there is freedom.

Love thy neighbor as you would thyself. Many who profess great love for God and Christ breeze over this statement. Instead they judge one another mercilessly. They want to have their way be the only way. And when freedoms that do not fit within their preferences are granted others they cry out that their religious freedoms are at stake.

Such is not the case. They get to believe whatever and do whatever. And if they truly followed the teachings of Christ, they would allow others to do the same. One’s religious freedoms should never trump the life freedoms of another.

Life is an exquisitely detailed orchestration of events. Our beliefs are always proven out. So as I sit back and watch the unfolding of recent events in the news, I do so observing Life offering up one of its brilliant check-points: Christians being given the opportunity to live what they profess. Christ was, and still is, one of my most intimate teachers. It is through the eyes of Christ that I so often view my world. At times I cry with joy at what I see in the world around me, through these eyes. At times I cry from pain.

I have many loving teachers. All teach the same thing: Judge not. Love. And be love.

I will always do all I can to cause a ripple in the pond of life that leads towards acceptance and personal freedom. I want everyone to live the life of their choosing. This means following the beliefs that feel right to each. Being who they are without condemnation. God made us all. And in that we are perfect and exactly as we are meant to be.

Love who you are. Allows others to do the same. No shame. Just love. No control. Just freedom.

Sane