Tag Archives: self empowerment

Hitting the Road

3c023d05c9811e248ee2e8e42e324663

As we close out this current year, I’d like to propose something. You won’t like it. But I believe its one of the most important things we can do for ourselves. And in the doing of it, we align closer to All That Is. Bless those things that have been difficult. I know. I said you wouldn’t like it, dear reader. But hear me out.

It’s easy to bless those things that bring us joy. Yes, those things are there for a purpose. We learn a lot about ourselves from them. But much more is gained when we carefully look at our difficulties. Because it is that which challenges us, that often highlights what is hindering us from experiencing the very joy for which we seek. Those fears that bubble up from within us, show us what is impeding us. They reveal the obstacles that stand in our way. In the moment we loathe the obstacle. And of course we do. It sits like a monster or boulder – blocking us. Holding us back.

But what if, its appearance isn’t to stop us. Instead, its appearance is Source working to show you what’s slowing you down so that you can deal with it and then move on?

Why is it so often upon casting a dream into the Heavens its quickly followed by something that causes us to doubt its probability? Ego will quickly answer that by saying it’s because it’s reminding us that the dream will most surely never happen. It’s sparing us from getting our hopes up. But rarely is that little voice of negativity our ally. Almost always that voice is the sound piece of our fears.

What I’d like you to do with this new year is to listen less to that voice, and instead, shift your perception of the obstacles or fears or doubts that arise before you. Don’t act surprised when an unexpected bill comes in the mail shortly after you launch a desire to start that new business or to buy that land in the country where you can retire. That bill will quickly tell you the level of your faith. That bill will cause all your fears to rise to the surface. Source wants you to see those. Source wants you to know what is buried deep within you. Because what is within you, is what’s shaping your experience. And when we fail to go deep, Source brings what’s deep into the Light. Bless what you see because its being brought into the Light for a reason. And it isn’t to stop you, it’s so that you know what you’re dealing with; to see what’s been holding you back.

Look at it like this. Let’s say you desire to drive across country. You program your car for the trip. And although I don’t believe such a thing as this exists, let’s say then that the car’s internal programming reviews your trip and then displays if the car is able to make it. Instead of damming your car for not being able to hit the road at the drop of a hat, you review the read out and feel relief that it showed you that about a third of the way in the transmission will fail. It’s telling you what you need to deal with because, as is, the trip will be difficult. Or the read out shows that there’s a collapsed bridge on the road you were planning to use. Good to know. You begin to plan a different way. What if Source is showing you something similar?

Every time you launch a desire, Source works to match that desire. But that is only half the process. You have to be the match. And to be the match you have to deal with all the things within you that are not the match. Those are the things that get brought to the surface. Those are the fears that seem to drop in front of you out of the blue, and strangle your ability to breathe. Those are the doubts you have about your greatness and worth. How is Source going to bring you your life’s love if you don’t fully love yourself? Source is showing you that. How is Source going to bring the life you want if you don’t fully believe that you are worthy of receiving it? So bless those things that are being shown to you. Because they are part of the process of getting there.

I love you, dear reader. And it is my sincere prayer that with this next year we all get there.

Sane

Sex and Bad Candy

f66455c4fac59978e37eb5a13c6779b0

Humans are social creatures. Due to such, I have to bet you’d like to have your life’s love sitting next to you right now. If so, do this – look in the mirror.

You can never see in another what you can not see within yourself.  You can not recognize outwardly what you have not already experienced within. And you can not maintain with another what you can not maintain within yourself.

Do you unconditionally love and accept the person looking back at you? If not, that is okay. Admitting the truth is one of the first empowering actions one can take. Just remember, your soul loves you. And if the desire is within you to be unified with a partner that will love and accept and understand you – then you must first do those things within yourself.

I want this from them, you say. Let’s get this straight. They aren’t your mother, and they aren’t your father. They are your partner. You can’t play the victim and expect your partner to coddle you. That isn’t their job. They are meant to be your equal. Equal. How can they be your equal if what you want from them isn’t already possessed within you? Of what are they the equivalent?

Dear reader, did you know that someone could love you to the moon and back, but you wouldn’t be able to allow it in if you didn’t already know the feeling within yourself. Also, you can’t give what you don’t have. It’s impossible.

Even without being cognizant of it, people react to energy. They feel it. It enters their being. Ask yourself what kind of energy you are offering. What is it you are giving this person? What is it you are giving yourself?

I know this struggle well. I did not like the person who met me in the mirror. I used to question how anyone could love the mess that was me. I didn’t love the mess. So why should they. Those were probably the most pivotal words spoken at the onset of my spiritual journey.

As I grew to hear Spirit, it shared with me something that changed my life. I am not my experiences. I am not my mistakes. I am not my successes.  I am not what has been done to me. I am not the judgments or opinions of others. I am what I believe.

And I believe in me. So look in that mirror, dear reader, and love everything you see. Love the you who ran when you should’ve stood. Love the you who doesn’t feel good enough. Love the you who got it right and love the you who got it wrong. Love yourself and – you become enough.

I’ve never met the person with whom I hope to spend the rest of my life. But I love them enough to bring them my best self; baggage light, clutter cleaned, demons understood. They deserve that. I deserve that. I had to divorce two men and marry myself before I discovered that truth. I had to fall in love with me. I wanted to feel whole, and that doesn’t come by way of a perfect other half. It comes by way of filling one’s self. Then resting in one’s wholeness for awhile. Knowing yourself. That is what I will present my future love.

And now that I am here, I no longer dishonor myself. I no longer look down upon myself. I no longer sell myself short. I no longer fill my time with bad candy when I know I’m deserving of a feast. Yes, that is a sexual reference. I love the woman I have discovered within myself. She is passionate beyond words. Sensual. Smart. Sincere. I love her. It all starts there. So take the mirror, dear reader, love who you see. You are worth the effort. And no, you don’t have to be perfect before you can love who you see. You just have to love who you see – unconditionally.

Sane

As always, written to music. Van Morrison, Into the Mystic.  The Strumbellas, We Don’t Know.

 

Rev Your Engine

02bb600d1e2ee6d6f32feb32573dffb7

Let’s start the weekend with this thought: Take good care of your mind. Love it. Cherish it. Tend to it. Then use it. Now, I know what you are saying, dear reader. Wasn’t it just a few days ago that I advised you to give that nasty voice within your mind the middle finger – yes. Yes, I did. Why then would I now be saying to care for something so menacing; is it good or is it bad? It is neither. Yet, at any given moment it has the potential to be the instrument for either. Confused? Don’t be. Spiritual teachers dating throughout the ages have always stated, “The mind is both the liberator and the jailor.” I believe this with all my heart – and mind.

Let’s look at it like this, your mind is a car. The car is yours. Your Higher Self owns the car. It’s a vehicle that’s intended and sole purpose is to help get you where you are meant to go while on this planet. Some people obsess over the looks and performance capabilities of their car – yet never really take it anywhere. Then there are those who completely neglect their car – complaining when it fails along the way. And then there are the majority who use their car repeatedly; carrying out the same trips over and over, hardly noticing that the car is doing so.

Now imagine you are traveling down a road, one that you travel every day. You know each bump and curve. Suddenly, you find yourself in the trees. When asked what happened you foggily reply, “I have no idea. The car just veered off the road. Now I’m over here. I must have been meant to be in the trees.” You would never say that, of course. Instead you would stop everything and ask yourself why the car shot off the road and into the ditch. And as you mulled it over you would then remember how the wheel had been tugging as of late. With every use you were having to counter the tug, to the point where you felt strain in your forearm. But, you were too busy to take it in for an alignment. After all, you had to get to work, or pick up the kids, or get home in time for your favorite show or glass of chardonnay. You had gotten so familiar with the tug that it almost felt natural.

But it wasn’t natural. And your car was trying to tell you so. The car was beginning to suffer from your neglect. Like the car, your mind tries to tell you when you are veering off course. In fact, your whole body tries to tell you. Your chakras, or for those who are unfamiliar with energy centers, your gut and heart and head, among other significant points along the energy pathway that dwells within and around you, sends out almost immediate and increasingly strong messages, all the time. Generally, people override those, too.

Life, as well as your body and your mind are conspiring to assist you – always. Problem is, we go numb to the input; we marginalize it and bury it. Then when we find ourselves in the trees we blame God or the Heavens for having forsaken us. We forsake us. We let the car drive us right off our path and into the trees because we fail to use the great gift that is the mind to Liberate us. Yes, resting on the other side of that nasty voice is a tool that helps us find Freedom. Peace. Love.

When you captain the mind, amazing things begin to happen. Trust me. However, dear reader, after years of letting the car drive all over the place of its own accord – it takes great vigilance and strength to commander the wheel. In fact, at first it almost feels as though there is no wheel to hold. I assure you, there is. You may have to dig through the rubbish that you have unwittingly allowed to accumulate in the driver’s seat before you can locate it. But it’s there. Keep digging. You will be utterly shocked by all the old wrappers, receipts and pieces of trash you’ve allowed to build up in there. But beneath it all, is this awesome car. This awesome vehicle that was given unto you for a purpose – take good care of it. Give it a tune up, fill it with nourishing fuel (yes, this means turning off junk television, walking away from trash talking people and opting for healthier foods. There’s no way around it, as we become that with which we surround ourselves). Then, every morning, take the time to align. Balance and center yourself. You and the car become one. And, in not so much time as you might fear, you get to drive right out of the trees, back onto the road and reach higher heights. Heights you were intended to reach. Then, as the mind gets better, the road gets better. Then your reality gets better. Life gets better. But it starts with you taking the wheel.

Sane

Going Underwater

1940 Bruce Mozert

1940 Bruce Mozert

There are times when we dive underwater to explore what rests below; to discover what can be found at such great depths within ourself. And then there are times when we go under not from our own choosing, but because something forced us under; our fingers slipped, and without premeditation, we suddenly let go.

I’ve found that almost all of my answers can be found from looking within. Some answers I placed there years ago. Others surprise me with their appearance. Memories dwell inside us like colorful coral reefs. And when the time is right we swim gently around every outcropping, allowing ourselves to live in the memory.

If one is prepared to be underwater, then it is a place of beautiful exploration. Downed ships still retain some of their prior glory, even when shrouded in loss. But it is when we are there without oxygen; when we wake in the morning, to discover we’re already buried under the pressure of our worries. Those are the times when it is the hardest to swim.

As a writer I know that some of my best work has been brought to the surface due to these deep-sea excavations. Emotions so rich with life, memories so raw they haven’t lost their tangible feel. I gather them in my arms, and like a child I drop them on the shore to examine under the sun. Even painful memories appear different when cultivated with intention.

When one finds themselves there without the security of a chest full of air; those are the moments when one feels only that of the tide pulling them under. They see the light from the water’s surface grow smaller as they fall softly deeper. All is dark. All is quiet. And they feel completely alone. There is no glimmer of excitement held within their eyes. These are the moments that sweep through us all; some softly and occasionally; some with a repetitive force like a wave that never grows tired of arriving. Whether from catastrophic news, heart-break or loss, we go under. We notice a peculiar detachment between us and the world around.

I began writing my first novel while suffering from total submersion. That one book was the final gasp of air from my inner being, my soul. I often slipped under the water’s of my life; beginning as a child that used it for escape. The familiarity of being submerged felt oddly comfortable; like a coat that didn’t fit, but because I wore it so often, I knew it well.

Being underwater, searching one’s great depths, is a fantastical excursion when done with purpose and oxygen. When we go deep to discover our core truths, to make peace with our history, our hurts, then this journey is one that brings us into alignment with who we are. It’s a necessity when it comes to one’s evolving. But when one goes under not from their own choosing. And feels only that of water filling their lungs, then their world goes black. My soul chose writing a novel, for me to later read, as a way of taking its final breath; bringing light to my dark places. From that day on, I’ve become very adept at deep-sea travel. I know all that rests within me. Some things aren’t lovely. But they are part of me; they have purpose. I could either look at a downed ship as complete failure, or as a bold attempt; one that made me stronger in the end. I reshaped my entire life after writing my first novel. My soul didn’t want to drown, it wanted to swim.

So if you find yourself sinking. Open your eyes. Use your strength to look around. And then, when the time is right, come up for air. Fill your lungs, and never again, turn a blind eye to all that is within you. You’re strong enough to swim.

Sane

Originally posted on November 18, 2013

A Delicate Nature

Photo by Sharland, May 1956

Photo by Sharland, May 1956

Good morning, dear reader. I hope this day is treating you well. More than that, I hope you are treating you well. I hope you are coming to see the All that you are and how important it is that your awareness acknowledges the many aspects that make you divine, singular, and important. It isn’t easy, is it? It isn’t easy to look at these things that seem to cause us struggle, or our heart to ache, and think good can come of them.

There was a time when I use to curse my own self. I use to look at my delicate nature and see it as that of a hindrance – especially in today’s world, where the need to be right comes before the need to love. Yet, it is this sensitivity in me that is necessary if I am to fulfill my life’s purpose. I couldn’t do it otherwise.

Over these many years, I found the courage and began the work necessary, to allow my gentle spirit to sit in plain view. I no longer stuff it under weighty coverings used under the misguided belief that I must protect my heart and my delicate inner being. Somewhere along the way it was shown to me that the soul, and the heart through which it feels, are stronger than any covering we use as armor. In fact, it is the strongest, steadiest, most stable part of our being. I spent the first half of my life very wrong about my understanding of my self. And that is okay. I needed those misguided years; much came from them.

Life is a dichotomy. Polarities are part of this world. With the presence of good comes the presence of that which rests at the opposite end. In other words, I did and do get pinged a lot. My entire lifestyle and those with which I surround myself has changed dramatically over these many years. At first, I use to force upon myself my old ways; they were what I knew. And the mind loathes the unfamiliar, uncharted and unknown. So I kept doing the same things I’d always done, all the while feeling uncomfortable. Feeling out-of-place. Feeling alone. Feeling bad afterward. Surely, I never felt nourished.

Now, I listen to the subtle queues of my inner being. I listen not to the voice that shouts, but to the voice that delicately whispers. I use to shake my fist at God and it’s soft spoken ways. Then I too softened. I decided to change my stagnant approach, mind-set and points of focus. Instead, I opened and broadened and became more flexible and allowing. And due to such it was shown to me that God speaks softly for two reasons: So we can always distinguish the voice of the Divine from the voice of fear, and because it requires of us to be still before we can hear.

I am no longer drawn to what is familiar, so much. Now I am drawn to the soft, subtle and delicate things in life. I see God in all things, yet I feel the purity within those things courageous enough to be kind. I like kindness. It feels good to me. It brings me joy. I love the kindness of the flowers that bloom outside my office window. They could be resistant, like unhappy children they could stiffen and demand that the environment cater to their wishes. But no, the flowers outside my window show up even when half buried under dead leaves. Their devotion to coloring life with their beauty is breathtakingly kind.

I step away from aggressiveness, chaos and demonstrativeness, and toward playfulness, equality and supportiveness. I love the kindness in those who give of themselves for another; those who hold the light and allow others to stand in its beam. Most of all I love the kindness within me; I judge less, allow more. I care about myself enough to be mindful of my surrounds. I love me enough to go silent and listen to the soft, subtle voice of the Divine which reminds me to hold gently the light of Love – always. It reminds me that there are those who have yet to discover their own, and the kindest, most compassionate thing I can do is hold mine upon them until they do.

If you are to embrace one thing this week – embrace kindness. Be kindness. It is the most courageous thing you can do. In those moments, you are the hand, the voice and the light of God.

Sane

Look at the Map

4fc9468d64649c3e4e337fb4b580f29b

I woke with a strong urge to share something with you. And that is: Look at yourself kindly, today. See the beauty within you that is uniquely yours. Do your best in life, then trust that good will follow. Have faith that you’re not only on the path, you’re steadily moving at just the right pace. Everything has purpose. Try not to cast judgement upon yourself, others or the world around you. Love who you are. Because the package that makes up you was specifically chosen as the vehicle your Higher Self wanted for this journey.

Oh yes, its true, dear reader. Even your less than spectacular propensities are there for a reason. Have you not considered why your hardships seem to fall along the same few lines. If you haven’t. I urge you to do so. Great truths about your journey will be discovered when you do.

Once you notice the grid work on which your foundation is laid, you’ll better understand the bumps and hurdles. Once you begin to listen to the repetitive nature of your ego, you’ll begin to understand the work of your soul. Ego offers the voice of contrast to the authentic nature of who you really are. Instead of believing the ego, try instead to view it as a bellwether. For example, if your ego screams it can’t be alone, know that your soul wants you to experience the peace found only in solitude. If your ego whispers that you aren’t good enough, know that your soul wants you to experience that you are, and it will keep nudging you in that direction. And if your ego mocks that your words have no value, then your soul will keep putting you in situations where you must own your voice and speak it.

If you have a tendency to see yourself as a screw-up, know that your soul is living out this life for you to discover your worth. And it will keep offering opportunities necessary in making that discovery. Problem is, when we allow the fear-based ego to be the Parent, the Ruler, the Judge, the Doctor, the Lawyer, the Prophet, the Priest, the Writer of our life, then these opportunities get twisted and used as evidence to support the ego. But when we look at ourselves with Love, then we see the value in every moment that comes our way.

Look at your knee-jerk reactions. Look at your tendencies. Look at your urges and desires. Every component within you is there for a reason, even the voice of your ego. I knew my words as a writer were of value when I heard the voice of ego laugh and tell me they were not. Now, maybe they weren’t refined to the level they’d eventually be. But I knew that if my fearful inner voice was trying to derail me, then there was a good chance writing was something my soul came here to do; not just to help heal and empower others, but to help heal and empower me.

So, try not to draw hard lines of judgement upon yourself, dear reader. Instead, consider that you are the whole. You have many facets, and they’re all there for a reason. If you are easily intolerant of others, most likely you are here to work on tolerance. If you feel you’re better than others, you are probably here to discover compassion, empathy and humility. If you have a hard time controlling your desires, there’s a good chance you are here to discover the divine freedom experienced when not controlled by the body.

The list goes on and on, of course. But the heart of what I am saying is simple: Embrace who you are and look upon yourself openly and kindly. Within you is the map that reveals your life’s purpose. All you need to do is look at it with the broad eye of Love and not through the narrow lens of fear. Because the ego will look at the map and tell you its an impossible, messy journey; even the paper its printed on is flawed. Whereas the soul will say, “How perfect. Look how the roads go out of their way for us to make certain discoveries. It is so rich, and full and divinely intricate. The ink is so colorful, the paper so delicate. This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Sane

And So It Begins

etsy.com

etsy.com

Finally, a moment to sit and write. You may have wondered what I’ve been doing as of late. Surely it hasn’t been keeping up with the Insanity Blog. Which is something that’s troubled me greatly. It seems my course has shifted once again, though. And my days of late have been kept busy starting a new company. It’s a company built upon the stones laid from my writing and spiritual work. So, in that sense, I’ve been crafting Rebel Spirit for sometime.

This all came about during two major shifts in my life. As difficult as those moment were at the time, my soul – and now I – smile when I look back upon them. I firmly believe when we fail to lend a sensitive ear to the soft promptings of our inner guidance system, the Universe will inevitably enter in, and jockey things around. Much like if we were to continually ignore the GPS in our car when it says to turn left, the hand of God reaches down and moves us. In the moment the move feels like a tornado that has uprooted us, or worse, shattered us. Sometimes those moments are a gentle yield. Sometimes those moments are abrupt. I’ve worked many years training myself to listen to my inner voice. Sometimes I throw the blinker on early, feeling in advance the direction in which I’m meant to go. At other times I eye the road, doing more than one drive-by, while questioning the hell out of it, convinced it doesn’t look right. Those moments generally play out something like this: Inner self screams yes, mind screams no. Enter the hand of God.

Always, always, always go in the direction of your joy. More often than not, a clear view  will not be provided. There is a reason for that, though. Your joy is your connection to All That Is. And, All That Is, God, Universe – or whatever name you like – requires that you have faith. Faith means not seeing what rests around the corner. Faith says believe – then – it will be shown. And belief starts from within. There will not always be clear signs along the way. There will not always be people camped out on the roadside offering directions. But always, from within, you will know which way to go. Always from within you’ll find all you need to be, do and have the life that brings you joy.

Rebel Spirit is about providing you those reminders. Sticking with the metaphor above, Rebel Spirit will be a little bit GPS, a little bit road map, a little bit gas station attendant reminding you that you are on the right road; just keep believing, keep moving, keep smiling. Love yourself. Be yourself. Trust yourself. That’s what the journey’s all about.

Rebel Spirit will unfold in stages. To start it will offer wearable affirmations for women. I grew tired of writing down phrases that helped empower me, just to be out in the real world without them.

Rebel Spirit will be open for business once I’m able to gather enough rebel spirits to help support its mission. We will be starting with a small online store, but also a crowd-funding campaign. I have a lot of work to do. But I know, this is the direction in which I’m meant to go. I hope you’ll join me.

Sane a Rebel Spirit

RS JPG