Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

Reflective Surfaces


These last few years have been a hike in the wilderness of finding myself. It has been treacherous. It has been glorious. I’ve curled up in caves. I’ve stood atop mountains with arms held wide. My deepest truth throughout it all: Love is all there is. Often we look outward for such a thing. Yet, the most important love is found within.

Loving from such a place is heaven on earth. Not because it’s always easy. But because it is exquisitely divine. So, for those considering Valentine’s Day I want to say: Love you. Take a moment and access your life. Ask yourself the deeper questions. Make the changes necessary for you to feel love – inside and out.

Tonight, I’m sharing the blog I wrote two years ago. I won the WordPress Award for this blog. But I won’t lie, I felt wretched the night I wrote it. Yet, the voice of spirit spoke. And I wrote what was said. Love is God. Love is Life. Love is all there is. So love you.

Life reflects our beliefs. So, remember, believe you deserve the best. Believe you are beautiful. Believe you are worthy. I can assure you, you are irreplaceable. And if no one sees this within you – maybe it’s because you don’t yet see it within you.

Love is what makes life worth living. Love is what makes us smile during the worst of times, and causes our heart to fill with unspeakable joy. Love gives us courage. Bring love into your world. Bring it into your heart. You can do this. Say it with me, “Yes, I’m scared often. But I love me. I love this motley mix that gets turned sideways at times. I love my darkness. I love my light. And I love me. I love my dreaming heart. I love my trembling hands. I love the all of me. And I deserve to feel good. ”


Below, unchanged, the post that brought so many of you to me. Thank you, dear readers. I love you.

Loved By Me

February 13, 2013 § 209 Comments

If, like me, you find yourself alone on Valentine’s Day, please do as I do – treat yourself well. As the spotlight shines down and reveals that you have yet to end your day looking into the eyes of your life’s love, or even that of a mere lover, use the day to look into yourself. And when you do, please do so with kindness. Fall in love with you.

It almost seems like a superfluous concept – to fall in love with one’s self. And yet, it is your self that will follow you wherever you go. It is yourself that will talk to you when no one is there. Your self will damn you. Your self will love you. The belief you have in yourself can cause you to crumble or it can cause you to reach unprecedented heights. The energy and perspective you put into you – you will receive from you in the form of inner knowing, conviction and peace.

On this day, instead of giving free rein to a mind that critiques and reminds us of our failures, come to peace with those moments when the outcome for which you had most hoped didn’t manifest. Think about giving yourself credit for having survived something that, at the time, felt like death. When you look in the mirror, instead of seeing the effects of time and stress, see a face that has viewed some of the ugliest of circumstances, and yet can radiantly shine when caught up in laughter. And when you look down at your body, try not to see those things that cause you disappointment. Try to remember that your body is giving you it’s very best, dependent upon what you are giving it. Furthermore, if your body is like mine, it has moved through hell and back, perhaps more than once. And when the time comes that you are confronted with your life’s love, they will see your beauty – because doing so is inherent to the nature of who they are. A divine love is divinely given, and thus sees the divine in us even when we falter and struggle to see it for ourselves.

Go easy on you. I would recommend that you take every day to treat yourself well. But if not, then please use tomorrow as a celebration of the love you are cultivating for you. Making peace with yourself. Loving your many attributes, thoughts, hopes and dreams is the beginning of the most important relationship one can have – the one we have with ourself. You will be with you during your greatest successes, your deepest disappointments and upon your final day. And if you are blessed to meet up with your life’s love, you’ll then be coming from a place not of insecurity, but of acceptance. You’ve accepted you, which will allow you to accept them.

I won’t deny that the favorable ending for tomorrow would be in front of a fire or wrapped in the arms of one’s lover. That would be my chosen route. But instead, I will endeavor to treat myself well. I will remind myself of my own beauty. My triumphs. My successes. My gifts. I will also spend the day spoiling me as I would wish to be spoiled by a partner. I will stop off and enjoy the taste of something delectable; it’s a fair assumption dark chocolate will be involved. I will peruse my favorite boutiques and I will allow my body to get pampered. Most of all, I will go easy on me. And my hope is that you go easy on you. Whether you are loved by many, loved by one or only loved by you – never forget – you are quite special.




I don’t know what good these words will be to you, dear reader. I find myself sitting here tonight questioning the efficacy of that which I share with you. Will it empower you. Will it liberate you. Will it enlighten you as to your value in life. Will it give you hope. I can’t say if my words harness you or set you free. My intent however, is to fill you with love. Love for life. Love for yourself.

I would like to tell you that life gets easier. I would like to say that the road shifts suddenly from that of broken glass to smooth. With an honest heart, I can’t. From what has been shown to me, the road is often strewn with shards. We will have days when we walk with smooth, easy strides. And then we will have days when, due to no fault of our own, our foot hits a jagged edge, and down we go.

Life isn’t about smooth roads, or arriving at a final destination. It’s about the love you managed to give and get along the way. When life takes you down, who is there to help support you.

Shards of glass come and go. Kids grow and move away. Friends stay for a lifetime, some for that of a season. Whether by the hand of God or a twist of fate, life is filled with ups and downs. At times, challenges seem near endless. It’s love that will get you through. Love, dear reader. Give it. Allow it in.

Teach your children how to love. They won’t know how to navigate life without it. We can’t change life, not as we’d like. We can color our canoe, but we can’t alter the undercurrent of the stream. Our soul is on a mission, some believe. And that mission will contain waters that are like glass. And it will contain white water rapids. Fill your canoe with love. It will balance you regardless of what the waters decide to do underneath. It will sustain you. At times it will guide you to lift the oars and let life take you where you need to go. At other times it will require of you to plunge deep into the water, and push.

Make love your own. That’s where this elusive energy known as God is most felt. And God wants to move through you. It does not move through sacrifice or fear. It moves most freely through joy and love.

I want to say to have faith. Tonight, I can’t. I want to say to believe that everything will turn out fine. Tonight, I can’t. But I can say this: Life gets ugly. Life will rip from you something you hold dear. Life will cause you to find yourself uprooted. Life will spin you around. Life will cut you to shreds, sometimes. Those days will come, my dear reader and it pains me to tell you so. But it will. So keep love close. Because during the upheaval and during the calm, love will make you whole. Love empowers. Love says, you can do anything. Love says, I will be there for you. Love says, come into my office and let’s talk. Love says, I know you are scared, but you can do this. Love says, let it go; free your hands so you can receive something new. Love says, go easy on yourself.

Love will make you laugh when all you want to do is cry. Most of all, love will cause you to believe in heaven. So when you think of sacrificing things within your life, step back, and remember – never sacrifice the love. It is the air through which God breathes. And God wants to breathe through you. God lives in the smile that comes to your face. God lives in that which feels good. So seek it out. It will ease the pain when the next shard comes your way.

Dedicated to all those that I love. And yes, that includes you, dear reader. I hope I have been of value to you. 


The Ever Important Orbicularis Oris

The anatomical juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in a state of contraction. That’s just plain sexy talk to this science gal. More so, the neural stimulation from such a contraction can be downright euphoric at times. Oh what those muscles can do. We give kisses. We receive kisses. Sometimes we steal them. I tend to like all three.

Kissing is such a unique form of expression. How odd it is that we take these muscles that help us with so many other things, such as eating, verbal expression, breathing (when our nose is plugged) and also use them to press against another. Add to it the fact that if one really scrutinizes the maneuvers involved in kissing, well, it looks down right peculiar. And yet it isn’t. It’s what every fiber in our being wants to do when deeply attracted to another. This thing, that when described in technical terms sounds awkward, is actually the first steps of a very sensual dance between lovers.

As a quasi germaphobe I can assure you that my mind has given ample time pondering the absurdity of suckling on something that once coughed up a loogie. There I said it. It had to be said. And yet, when with my partner, I seem to forget all this past contemplation regarding the subject. Instead, there is no place my lips would rather be. How odd it is the way the mind works when hormones and the heart have their way.

Being one that notices the obscure, I must say I’ve also given thought to how odd the human tongue is. The way it can jut out and wiggle around. The way it’s required for us to speak, to taste. How this thing which is down right crazy looking, is also quite crucial. And, in keeping on topic, without it, those kisses would dwindle down to no more than something similar to two fish mouthing one another. No, instead we use them to thrust, twist, twirl, glide and also quickly lap up ice cream if the day is exceptionally hot. The tongue, and its importance, should never be overlooked.

But kisses aren’t just simply the manifestation of our physical urges. There are times when more is said through a tender kiss than what can be relayed in an entire novel. There are times when we kiss the head of our child because the love we feel is so deep it’s almost painful. Then there are times when words won’t do our feelings justice, but the energy held within a kiss will. I find more energy in the moment that lives in the slight pause before a kiss is fully expressed, than often within the kiss itself. The expectancy that lives in that moment is delicious; the way two open mouths can be centimeters apart hanging on the precipice of full disclosure; the way the very air that lived inside one’s lover is mixed with that of our own – exquisite. There is so much energy in the simple paused moments of life.

So on that note I will leave you with this thought, kiss your children. Sometimes it is through that simple act that they fully know they are loved, accepted and wanted. And when it comes to  your partner, never cheat yourself or them out of the magic that lives within a kiss between lovers; how the eyes close, the mind softens and the souls are allowed to dance free.


“You are my peanut, I am your brittle!” Pepe Le Pew

When I was young I had to pitch my socks when I lost its mate. Obviously one couldn’t wear mismatched socks. Now, I spend good money to buy mismatched socks for my daughter – as it is considered fashionable. Life shows us that what might be perceived one way at present, may very well be viewed differently down the road.

If we can be a bit objective we notice the humor in the way life, ideas and circumstances shift precariously from here to there. But of course, our inner knowing, the very part of us that sits as our foundation, works best when remaining centered and balanced. I feel a relationship is similar to us in that it too requires a firm foundation; all the while the outward extensions move and adjust. Love requires roots. Something firm to hold it in place when the winds arrive. But love also requires that the stems, leaves and buds are allowed to grow. Love is not stagnant or dormant. Love is not a shackled event. It is an expression. It is, in my opinion, the most delicious of life’s expressions.

Our mind can trip us up a bit when it comes to love. When we find it we are tempted to seize onto it and ask of it to never change. But people change. A soul that does not expand and flourish is a soul that is no longer drawing air. There are many people who are living and yet are far from being alive. I know this feeling.

Always we should be showing these two sides of ourselves; the soul which expands, becoming a fuller version of itself; and the human that grows with new life experiences. As an old woman I hope to look into the eyes of the man with whom I will ultimately unite. And when I do I want to see that same beautiful soul, yet brimming from expansion. I also hope to see a man who has grown exponentially. I may have met him when he was just a mere sapling but with age he became a full-fledged oak; towering with life experiences.

We should want such things for our partner. We should want such things for ourselves. I never plan to give up on me. There are times when I’m not sure I like what I see, but I know it’s just a matter of shifting my perception. The same thing, yet viewed from a different angle can change from a negative to a positive – all by adjusting the mind. God likes to remind me of the importance of loosening the rigidity within my mind. And due to such, I try to allow myself my flaws, allow others theirs. I try to ease up on me. And ease up on those around me. Rarely anymore do I slam the gavel of judgement down. More often than not I try to first shift my perception. Sometimes no angle will provide peace. And then I must move on. But what makes a tree so strong isn’t that it is unmoving, but that it bends. Love moves. Love bends.

As this week of amore’ sweeps across our lives I hope we all look at love as the alive thing that it is. It wants to expand. It wants to be rooted, but it also wants to grow.