Upon Examination

UponExamination

And so there comes a time when we must stop. We must cease our movements and look down. It’s important that we give ourself a moment to take stock of who we’ve become. No doubt, my life is an examined one. But everyone should give pause. Everyone should examine their steps, their actions, and their motivations.

Who are you? Why are you here? Surely you are not here solely to wake each morning, fulfill certain assigned physical tasks, sleep, then hit repeat. Is there not a soul within you that is your undercurrent? They say many have drowned due to not understanding the power of the undercurrent. It is my belief that a similar unseen force rests within each of us. It is the force that remains in full connection with all that is.

Its time. Its time to stand and look around. I ask that you look back. I ask that you look forward. But also, dear reader, look inward. If you wish, tell no one of what you see. It is your private space, allow in only those that you want given access. This space is yours. It is for you to discover and understand those things you find lining the shelves of your soul.

Pick up the broken pieces of yourself that you may find there. I ask that you resist the urge to throw these pieces away. Instead, look at them. Hold them up into the light and notice the path that brought you to that moment of breaking. Smile and know that you walked that arduous road. And even with an inner being that has broken down, time and time again, here you are, in tact. You may not feel whole, not yet. But you will.

I’ve chosen to not throw away anything that I have found within myself. I could. I could tell myself that if I jettison my misshapen pieces I will become lighter, better. But its not so. I would only be taking from the whole of who I am. Instead, I have chosen to recycle all that I have found within me. I do not let my past rule me. Nor do I let all that I have been, define all that I’ll become. No. I take these pieces and have created a mosaic that lines the walls of my soul. By examining the whole of who I am, I have come to understand why it is I am here. I know my work. I know who I am and what motivates me. I know this only by way of stopping and looking down. By taking note of where I am and how I got here. Then I look within. I examine those thing within me, the selfish and the petty, the selfless and the loving. I do not damn what I see. But I do understand what I see. I adjust. I learn. I redefine who I am as I go along.

Upon starting this week, stand for a bit. Look inward. Teach your children to do the same. Your soul is waiting for your examination. It is waiting for your eyes to look softly upon it and discover its purpose. Its waiting. Go inward, and discover you.

Sane

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6 thoughts on “Upon Examination

  1. Rebecca

    Samantha,

    How true are your words. I went through this a couple of years ago with two of my closest friends. I was always the intiator, always. I realized I created the problem by my willingness to always be there for them. In the final analysis, it was me who created the problem and me who hung on to the problem. I was afraid that if I pulled back I would lose thier friendship. I did pull back. I didn’t lose their friendship. I gained back a sense of self-respect. Sometimes we simply have to let responsiblity for a problem rest where it should and not always think our shoulders are broader than they are.

    Reply

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