Fall Harvest

A girl and her tribe.

A girl and her tribe.

Here I sit quietly on my birthday, reflecting. I’ve managed to walk through forty-six years of life. More than four decades of ground has unfurled beneath my feet. And although it may be unrecognizable to some, I sit here knowing how profoundly blessed I am. Not because of the good times. But because of all the necessary hard times it took to get me  here.

It was shown to me some time ago that my life wasn’t about helping others to live amidst the cream of life. I’m not the tour guide for the Golden Road. Much of my purpose is in helping people navigate and understand the rougher roads and the moments when they’re convinced they’ve been abandoned; the moments when they feel so powerless they’re sure there is no God. And if there is one, it isn’t friendly or helpful. So, as you can imagine, I can only guide along a pathway I too have walked.

I give thanks for the many moments in my life when I shook my fist in the air and railed against the Heavens. Those raw moments were necessary. They were breaking points. And when I broke open the rawness within me poured out, and fertile ground revealed. And in place of bitterness, love was allowed to grow. I’ve been growing love ever since. Now I walk in love so deep its like strolling through a corn field. Like towering stalks, love is all I see within me. And the heavens are all I see above me. For the Light to get in, I had to first break open. There is no other way. Once opened, I had to choose not only what to plant, but how to tend it.

It took a lot of breaking points before I finally cleared the way within myself to start making choices that allowed God to flourish in my life. Hard opportunities still land at me feet; the ones filled with painful choices that require a bit more strength than I feel I have within me. Choices that, I will admit, fill me with tears; choices that feel like storms.

Life on this planet isn’t about living only in the good times. Good times do little to broaden the soul, not to mention the mind. Both the sun and the rain are necessary for growth. So, I try less to push against the rain when it comes, knowing that it is most likely growing something very precious within me. Instead of spewing out a bitter word of resentment toward God, I now try to ask what it is in this moment I’m to learn.

I’ve known for a while now that if I don’t work to heal all that is within me, thereby cultivating fertile ground of alignment and love, then a storm will graciously be sent to help clear away the blockages. I may not be thrilled with the storm, but I am thankful that something loves me enough to offer me the help I need to become who I’m meant to become. Of course, I work a bit harder now to be pro-active. And due to such, the Universe knows that I’m busy tending to my garden and digging in the soil of my inner being, so it sends a lot fewer storms my way. I’m thankful for that too. I also show my thankfulness by savoring the good times more. I don’t skip over them or take them for granted like I did ten or twenty years ago.

At forty-six I’ve gotten this far: I’m happy. I’m at peace. I spend a lot more time alone. Often is the morning when my eyes fill with tears of contentment; not because my life is perfect – but because it hasn’t been. And all of those imperfect moments, the famine, the drought and the shaking fists have grown more love in me than I ever could’ve imagined possible. That’s the harvest. That’s the feast.


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Greta Garbo

Greta Garbo

As you head out this July 4th, with thoughts of independence in mind, I’d like you to consider liberation on a larger scale. I realize while living these seemingly, all-consuming, physical experiences we get caught up thinking that all we see, is all there is. Please consider that this is not so.

To see what rests under the surface of life one must first grow quiet. It is within the quiet place behind the mind that awareness of the soul is most felt. And the stillness of the soul is where we come to familiarize ourselves with the peace of the Divine. God is calm. God is non-judgment. God is joy. God is love. And God can be found within every minute of every day – even the most chaotic ones. You just have to go within to see it, feel it, experience it. And that dear reader, is freedom.

If this sounds daunting, if this sounds like a near impossible task, start by noticing your commentary. From the moment you wake until the moment you sleep your mind offers comments on everything. The first step to silencing the commentary is in noticing it. By shining the light of awareness, we begin to take back our power. No longer is the mind something allowed to run rampant. Instead, we see it as an unattended tool.

Just because a comment is voiced within your mind doesn’t mean that it is accurate. It doesn’t mean it is in your best interest or a guiding force. Nor does it mean you have to listen. Allow it its moment, then tell it to hush – even for a second. In time that second will grow into minutes. And those minutes will, if we are patient, become an hour. Soon, that hushed stillness will be our predominant way of being. And our judgments of the world will be few and far between.

It is liberating to allow yourself not to have an opinion on each and every thing we see. It is freeing to allow yourself to let go and let it be. It is true peace to feel this calm within chaos.

There have been many times, dear reader, when I could not find silence within my mind. During those moments I refrained from inundating the heavens with my feeble words, but instead, asked for words to be given unto me. What I received was: let it be. And so with that, I said those three words repeatedly until I felt a wave of calm settle over me.

Awareness is one of the greatest spiritual tools given to us. It is your key to freedom. Life mirrors our beliefs. When we free ourselves, we free the world around us. It’s a subtle ripple that carries with it a great spiritual impact. Use your key my dear, sweet reader, and set yourself free.


Written to: Beatles, Let it Be. One of the many songs on my spiritual playlist.



Women’s Air Service Pilots (WASPs), 1944

As many of you know, I’m a spiritual person; not only is it my walk, it’s been my life raft. It’s been the only lens through which I can view this world with love. It has been the only air pure enough for me to breathe. Love, to me, is the essence of God.

The ripple effect from love brings calm waters. The ripple effect from fear brings turbulence. We sail both. Life contains the dichotomy of All That Is.

Please know that this type of love is not the kind of unicorns and rainbows. It simply means honoring All, to the best of my ability. Life feels better when I do. I can breathe. I release the fearful inclinations to tighten and control. Instead, I let go and let it be. In that there is freedom.

Love thy neighbor as you would thyself. Many who profess great love for God and Christ breeze over this statement. Instead they judge one another mercilessly. They want to have their way be the only way. And when freedoms that do not fit within their preferences are granted others they cry out that their religious freedoms are at stake.

Such is not the case. They get to believe whatever and do whatever. And if they truly followed the teachings of Christ, they would allow others to do the same. One’s religious freedoms should never trump the life freedoms of another.

Life is an exquisitely detailed orchestration of events. Our beliefs are always proven out. So as I sit back and watch the unfolding of recent events in the news, I do so observing Life offering up one of its brilliant check-points: Christians being given the opportunity to live what they profess. Christ was, and still is, one of my most intimate teachers. It is through the eyes of Christ that I so often view my world. At times I cry with joy at what I see in the world around me, through these eyes. At times I cry from pain.

I have many loving teachers. All teach the same thing: Judge not. Love. And be love.

I will always do all I can to cause a ripple in the pond of life that leads towards acceptance and personal freedom. I want everyone to live the life of their choosing. This means following the beliefs that feel right to each. Being who they are without condemnation. God made us all. And in that we are perfect and exactly as we are meant to be.

Love who you are. Allows others to do the same. No shame. Just love. No control. Just freedom.




It’s an interesting journey, the journey of self discovery. As I move along, Source brings new things into my experience that cause me to shine a light upon myself in places I haven’t yet looked. Once there, I’m able to see my soul’s growth. More importantly, I’m able to see the extent that my mind has been reshaped. Am I a servant to the mind. Or is my mind a servant to my soul. These moments happen in stillness.

There was a point when my internal being was a place of chaos. Like a storm that descends upon the ocean and whips the water into a wild mix of waves, my inner being was anything but calm. Now, those waves are few and far between. More often than not my soul sits still upon the surface of my human frame and the mind that controls it.

I’ve given good thought lately to life, love, religion, human interaction and what it truly means to be one with God. This stillness within me is my church. And I take my church with me wherever I go. There are times when this truth causes me to weep with appreciation. Never are these calm, divine waters of stillness held apart from me. But there are times when it feels life, or my reaction to it, causes a separation. Instead of floating on still waters I find myself, seemingly, miles away from the very waters I hold so dear. Then I panic.

I scramble, I grow sad, I grow weary and exhausted and have nothing left to give anyone around me. It is always from upon divine waters that I write to you, dear reader. But life isn’t about seclusion to the point where we never experience adversity. Life is about keeping our inner water calm while the storms of life rage around us. Its about keeping the portal to Source clear and unobstructed. And taking that connection out and into the world.

To me stillness is God – in full. It is there that I can hear with the most clarity and see most clearly. When there I fortify. From there I can, once again, go anywhere. And I can do so carrying the stillness with me because it is active and alive within me. I can witness mankind and see it through the eyes of love. The eyes of my soul. The eyes of Source – God.

I encourage you to go and sit upon the waters of your inner being, dear reader. Don’t grow frightened if you find yourself caught in waves that push you around. Tend to the waves. Give them your love. Love heals. Love calms. In time, what was once a raging storm of waves fueled by hurt and fear will become waters of wisdom and grace.

Go there. Look at yourself with compassion. Tend to your waves. Within stillness we feel the peace of love. The love of God and Source and All That Is; love that was there all along. To feel it, we just have to get still. Storms of life come and go. But your stillness will remain.


A Writer’s Take On Easter


I tried to busy myself this morning; tackling the long list of things I must get done. But the prompting to write was too great. Perhaps, someone out there is in need of what I’m about to say. So, I yield and remind you of this: Give thanks for this moment in your life. Even if your heart is breaking, your hands are empty, your future unsure – your’e being given the chance to start anew.

I want you to look at where you’ve been. Don’t romanticize. See clearly. Now look ahead. What do you want? Now is your re-birthing. Not only does nature provide us this example, but also a beautiful teacher who walked this earth many years ago. It is time to be reborn. But not with sadness. Not with bitterness. Look at this moment in your life and take from it the lesson you were meant to learn. Carve out now a more intricate blueprint of what you want.

You are given people, circumstances and things that are meant to help you better align yourself with who you are and what you are meant to be. Was the life you were living honoring your higher self? Often we blame everything outside of ourselves for how we feel, think and live. Yet no one, ultimately, has that power over us – unless we give it to them. And even then, we are still the gatekeeper. Generally, we have a long list of justifications as to why we allow in who and what we do. It is time to lay down the cross, and rise. Surrender the heaviness you carry and give it to All That Is. Do it with reverence. Now take a moment and appreciate how light you feel. You are light. Especially when we step out from under what once covered us.

We have a few very important things we are here to accomplish during our life. One of the most important is how we treat ourselves. Do you deserve to be loved through and through – yes. God wants that for you. This divine source is just waiting for you to see that too. Do you deserve a life full of joy – yes. You also deserve to feel good, to feel success, to feel energized.

Take this moment, and all the indications nature is providing, and start anew. Become born – again. And again and again, if need be. And often it needs to be. Maybe all this means is changing the way you think. Maybe this spring is your time to finally say – I can do that. I can stop blaming. I can see that all those things I encountered along the way have brought me to where I am – right now – and right now I see more clearly than ever before.

I can be loved. I can be cherished. I can be healthy. I can be successful. I can see the beauty in all things. I can see how the struggle is necessary in emerging strong. I can see how all my many days of pushing through have brought me to where I can finally see the light. I am doing alright. I have down days but I also have days when I feel up and alive. And I deserve to feel good. Right now, I love me. Right now, I will cherish me. Right now, I believe in me. Thank you – for freeing me.


And So It Begins



Finally, a moment to sit and write. You may have wondered what I’ve been doing as of late. Surely it hasn’t been keeping up with the Insanity Blog. Which is something that’s troubled me greatly. It seems my course has shifted once again, though. And my days of late have been kept busy starting a new company. It’s a company built upon the stones laid from my writing and spiritual work. So, in that sense, I’ve been crafting Rebel Spirit for sometime.

This all came about during two major shifts in my life. As difficult as those moment were at the time, my soul – and now I – smile when I look back upon them. I firmly believe when we fail to lend a sensitive ear to the soft promptings of our inner guidance system, the Universe will inevitably enter in, and jockey things around. Much like if we were to continually ignore the GPS in our car when it says to turn left, the hand of God reaches down and moves us. In the moment the move feels like a tornado that has uprooted us, or worse, shattered us. Sometimes those moments are a gentle yield. Sometimes those moments are abrupt. I’ve worked many years training myself to listen to my inner voice. Sometimes I throw the blinker on early, feeling in advance the direction in which I’m meant to go. At other times I eye the road, doing more than one drive-by, while questioning the hell out of it, convinced it doesn’t look right. Those moments generally play out something like this: Inner self screams yes, mind screams no. Enter the hand of God.

Always, always, always go in the direction of your joy. More often than not, a clear view  will not be provided. There is a reason for that, though. Your joy is your connection to All That Is. And, All That Is, God, Universe – or whatever name you like – requires that you have faith. Faith means not seeing what rests around the corner. Faith says believe – then – it will be shown. And belief starts from within. There will not always be clear signs along the way. There will not always be people camped out on the roadside offering directions. But always, from within, you will know which way to go. Always from within you’ll find all you need to be, do and have the life that brings you joy.

Rebel Spirit is about providing you those reminders. Sticking with the metaphor above, Rebel Spirit will be a little bit GPS, a little bit road map, a little bit gas station attendant reminding you that you are on the right road; just keep believing, keep moving, keep smiling. Love yourself. Be yourself. Trust yourself. That’s what the journey’s all about.

Rebel Spirit will unfold in stages. To start it will offer wearable affirmations for women. I grew tired of writing down phrases that helped empower me, just to be out in the real world without them.

Rebel Spirit will be open for business once I’m able to gather enough rebel spirits to help support its mission. We will be starting with a small online store, but also a crowd-funding campaign. I have a lot of work to do. But I know, this is the direction in which I’m meant to go. I hope you’ll join me.

Sane a Rebel Spirit




However it’s brought to our attention, I believe there will be points along our journey when change is necessary. If we are adamant against change then we are denying our own growth. There we remain, stilted and stagnant. And even when we try to use our logical mind to support our resistance, we know deep inside that we are subjecting ourselves to a life that’s not fulfilling its potential.

There are times in my life when, all of my own accord, I readily release my worries and follow the flow of change. And then there are times when I try to remain seated behind the walls of resistance, thinking myself safe and smart in doing so. The former, almost always, leads me down an easier path. The latter generally requires the Universe to make my life so miserable that I literally feel pushed out from behind the wall.

Knowing all of this as I do one would think I would never fall prey to throwing up resistance of any kind, and yet that is not the case. I, like many of you, abhor the fear that encompasses certain changes. Inevitably, fear is always trying to show me why the change is necessary if I’m to grow into a fuller expression of myself or enjoy a long-awaited for dream, Even so, my reaction is to analytically process matters, then harden instead of release.

As humans we always want to know what rests around the corner. We want to know if our decisions are one’s that will bring about the outcomes we want most to see. Truthfully, faith says you must live without knowing in advance. Faith says to trust first, then you will see. But I must warn you, don’t accidentally trust your fear as a harbinger that change is not good and necessary. Trust that fear is revealing your deepest concerns; not so you’ll be a prisoner to them, but so you’ll identify the truth behind the fear, heal, then let go; growing stronger and wiser from the process.

If possible, dear reader, the best road is always the former; the one where you listen to your heart. It won’t lead you astray. Your heart will always take you in the direction of your purpose, your bliss, and those smiles that seem to spring from nowhere. But even if you have accidentally passed that road and are now faced with a road more daunting, the same support that showed you the easier road by way of promptings from the heart is with you now. Instead of sandals you may need to wear boots to walk it, but you’ll be fine. The two roads take you to the same place, if you allow it.

In many ways I believe we create our fate. Perhaps its our higher self that drops the dream within our mind or causes our heart to spring to life, but it is for us to make the change.