November 4, 2014 § 2 Comments
It feels as though I’ve been pushing against the wind to get to this moment now. So odd it is to be busy carrying out my many obligations, all the while feeling the need to write press down upon me; ever-present, never letting up. I’m here now. And that’s all that matters. So with that, I will say to you dear reader, one of my deeper truths, is in coming to terms with inner restlessness. Restlessness, in my opinion, is one of the most potent emotional responses we encounter. I would say it’s as potent as fear, but to me, restlessness is an offshoot of fear. It’s the fear of simply being still within one’s self.
Because when we do, it is then that we notice all of our inner, unfinished business, our insecurities, our hurts. The chatter in our mind begins, either as an angry mob or one haunting voice. So we busy ourselves. We reach for something that will distract, numb or drown out the voices and urges. This is usually what makes meditation difficult for so many. It’s not easy working through the mental layer, with its constant chatter about what needs to be done, then the emotional layer that unearths all that was buried, and hopefully forgotten.
It’s a dreadful state so we bolt. We run toward something that will nullify the feeling. I say dear reader, as uncomfortable as it may be, sit in your restlessness. Let it wash over you. Let it wash through you. Let it bring everything to life. And when it does look around. Doing so is the gateway to peace. One is never free while running away. Freedom exists once we come to terms with who we are and who we’ve been; those things that frighten us; those things that cause us to feel vulnerable inside. That’s peace.
Looking at all those things that trouble you sounds like the last thing one would want to do in order to find peace. Yet, truly, it is the road that will take you there. Because as long as you run, as long as you distract and avoid, you remain the prisoner to those very things from which you long release. You can release yourself by sitting with those restless moments. You’ll be okay. And in time you will come to recognize restlessness as just another layer of your being that needs working through, allowing you a deeper understanding of yourself. Each layer discovered takes you closer to full ownership of yourself. And that is freedom.
But you have to be willing to go there. You must be willing to sit with it. After time you will look back and notice that you’ve conquered many moments that once sent you running. You can’t silence or run from inner restlessness and also find inner peace and freedom. They reside in two different places.
I am a long way from where I want to be in this regard. Yet, I take comfort knowing that mastering one’s self isn’t a title handed to us upon our death, it’s handed to us along our journey. And you will never master yourself, and thereby experience peace, unless you sit with yourself first. That means sitting still even when all you want to do is run.
October 14, 2014 § 2 Comments
I’m pretty good to me. You would think doing so would come natural. It doesn’t. And when I say, “being good,” I don’t mean that of the selfish variety. No, the kind of treatment I mean is that of honoring one’s self. This has always been a challenge for me, especially now that my spirit has expanded somewhat. You see, dear reader, I do unto others as I would like done unto me. I have no regrets. My actions stem from my inner truth, which is a place of love.
Then it happens. The scales refuse to float in balance. I step back and have to view the situation. And when I do I notice my actions are right. But I’ve lost myself amidst it all. I’m left with the seemingly selfish thought: What about me? In my attempt to do right by another I’ve ignored the gentle signs of impending imbalance. There are times when we extend so heavily to another, especially when they are in need, that reciprocity should not be a consideration. But otherwise, it is.
Those with whom we surround ourselves are vital to the shaping of our reality. Without any words spoken, we are telling the Universe that this exchange of actions and energy is acceptable – please bring more. Yet, if what’s being given to you by another is not how you would treat them, and it isn’t how you would treat you – then stop allowing it. Once you do, the eyes of Heaven turn. The revised, unspoken request is noted. And with enough time, new people and experiences will come your way.
Treat yourself well. Love yourself like you would like to be loved. That starts the ball rolling. Now keep it moving in the right direction by surrounding yourself with those that do the same. Nestle yourself in the synergy of like souls.
Barring the soft learning curve of genuine foibles as you grow and learn the ways of another, don’t settle for less than the love you give. So, again I’ll say, what are you giving to you? Do you give to others yet cut corners when it comes to you? Do you lessen your dreams, tether your hopes? If so, the Universe will never be able to work beyond your limitations. Remove the limits. Sit and bask in thoughts filled richly with everything you want. No restrictions. It’s in the privacy of your head, after all. Have fun with it. From there, be the best person you can be – beginning with your treatment of you. Now your energy is in synch with the force that brought you here. You are loved. You are worthy. If not, you wouldn’t be here. When you look in the mirror see a person who is evolving, maybe slowly, maybe in warp speed – either way, you are a work in progress and today is a new day. No one is better than anyone. Whether we care to admit it or not, we’re all in this game together.
Life reflects back to us our beliefs. First and foremost then, believe yourself to be worthy of being treasured and treated well. This starts with how you treat you. You are always the first and defining number in the equation of your life. Always. Now take that love with you wherever you go. See others as the hapless, searching, loving, sometimes completely messed up people that we all are. Give them your patience and grace. Allow your love to spread. But don’t drop your awareness. If how you are being treated is less than how you would treat another or how you would treat yourself – love yourself enough to take notice. The life you want starts by being good to you.