May 21, 2013 § 10 Comments
I have no idea why it is we’re as hard on ourselves as we are. For some the level of excellence we demand is great. Such an approach to life is grueling. Such an approach is one I know all too well.
But along the way I came to discover that my ego, the mind that twirls with as much anxiety and fear as it does hope and excitement, responds best to a light touch. I am not my mind. I am the teacher, my mind the student. And it is through my loving guidance that my mind responds best. An iron fist rarely solves anything, both inwardly and outwardly.
When I’m buckling under the stress of life, demanding exceedingly more of my skill, intellect, time and energy, it is my inner being that calls my attention back to where it needs to be, and says: Go easy on yourself. The pressures owned by each of us are great. True, if all were to stand in a line and share stories, there would be those whose troubles are small. Just know each of us carries a burden or two regardless of size.
So when the world has clouded over, and the words needing to be said have escaped you; when you haven’t the answer for the problem requiring a solution; close your eyes. Breathe deep. And within your mind see your thoughts transformed into words. Then see those words as sentences traveling across the landscape of your mind like trains traversing along a single track – one after the other. Look closely. You will notice your thoughts are separated. There is a gap showing itself between the trains. This gap is the silent place of meditation that sits behind your thoughts. It’s always there. But you only see the trains as you move throughout your day. These trains fill your mind, blocking what rests beyond. They demand of you your attention as they chug and billow steam. But for a moment, focus on the gap between. Within the gap is silence. Within the silence is peace. Stay there not with forced focus, but with a soft gaze. The trains will pick up again. But now you know how to find the place of silence within yourself. Now you have proof that it was there all along.
Give yourself a moment sans thought; a reprieve from having to solve all the problems that face you. Keep catching a glimpse of the space that exists between the sentences that fill your mind. God can be found in those spaces; a quiet peacefulness. So whether you are ending your day or just starting anew, notice the trains that fill your mind. Catch a glimpse of the gap that rests between. Go into the gap, and if you can – stay there awhile. There will be plenty of time for the trains later. But for right now, focus on the gap.
May 17, 2013 § 2 Comments
There are two kinds of what if’s in this world; one that gives life to fear; and one that births hope. So if you find that you’ve become the captive audience to fear, ask yourself what hope would say if it were allowed to speak.
There are many things in life that will stop us from living the life of our dreams, or from being with the one we desire, or from stopping us from taking the first steps onto the path of a different direction. Fear whispers into our ear words that hold us prisoner. What if I fail. What if they do not love me as I love them. What if I go broke trying. What if no one buys my new design. What if she one day decides I’m not what she wants. What if his sweet words are a lie. What if I fall on my face in front of everyone. What if I’m simply not good enough. What if.
But what if we are good enough. What if in the midst of listening to fear speak, and thus determining one’s fate, we allowed another voice to step forward. For a moment, take every fearful what if sentence, and change the ending. What if it all works out in the end. What if he does love you. What if she does too. What if your new design, business or job was the creative outlet for which you’ve always been searching. What if instead of failing, you succeed. What if today is the day your life changes forever. Changes happen both big and small. We never know when life will take its next shift. But maybe by allowing hope to speak within our mind, and letting our inner being rest in the energy bed of hopefulness – the next shift is a good one.
Fear is there under the guise of protection. It is not bad in its entirety. Once burned we know to never again rest our hand on a hot surface. Fear reminds of the pain. And when our choices or fate brought heartbreak our way, fear is there to bring to mind the memory. And yet, fear should never stop us. Fear should never be what decides our steps. Because often fear doesn’t allow us to move at all. And if it does, it usually sends us in the opposite direction of our next chance for love, joy and fulfillment. Fear tries to shelter us and yet nothing can ever be found when buried behind such walls. So what if, when you step out, your feet hold steady, the sun shines and what you’ve always wanted for yourself is lying in wait. But it won’t be discovered unless you walk on.
Maybe today is just a day like the others. You will wake and you will fall asleep never knowing, never seeing, what is swirling on the horizon. But what if it is the first day of your new beginning; because today you silenced your fear, and let hope fill your mind. What if.
May 14, 2013 § Leave a Comment
For many years I envied those who grew up in homes like the Leave it to Beaver home. The old television show emulated well the household that experienced no turbulence beyond minor miscommunication or drama beyond that of the wayward baseball thrown through the neighbor’s window. It wasn’t until years later that I realized my soul chose my parents, and the subsequent home life and upbringing they would offer.
My soul knew what it needed to accomplish in this lifetime, and it made certain to send me all the things necessary to get me there. Certain aspects of my inner being required expansion and fulfillment, and I’ve been exposed to numerous opportunities allowing me such expansion. I haven’t always made the right choices however. So at times the lessons have been many. My mind could, and has, cursed all the wrongs done to me during my lifetime. Furthermore my mind has damned my turbulent upbringing, screaming, “Why me?” But such questions are not necessary, as I know the answer. These were the areas within my soul that needed to be experienced. What I did with the experiences has always been up to me. My soul is patient though, and never tires of the journey; even when my mind has asked to be released.
What I know now is that, if it weren’t for all the hurdles that have been placed at my feet, I would not possess the belief system and perception on life that I own. We are all given opportunities; they arrive daily. Each choice invariably brings a set of consequences. And our family was the first set of opportunities given us.
So when you look at the family that surrounded you upon your emergence into this realm realize that if they are challenging it is because your soul is at a level that requires such. You are now pushing forward along your journey where you’re being handed opportunities requiring a great deal from you. The hurdles are high only because you have logged many lifetimes developing your spiritual muscles; you are meant to leap higher. I don’t have the answers as to why the soul chooses what it chooses. I just know that it does. So its best to see the purpose in the ways of one’s soul, versus buck against it and fritter away many lifetimes having to undergo the same lessons repeatedly.
So if you can, view those in your life as the opportunities they are. Some have shaded the lens of your perception in such a way for a reason. Try not to view the easy-go-lightly upbringing possessed by others with envy. Try not to look upon your parents or siblings with anger, resentment or hostility. And if you are absent a parent or two, try to understand that your soul knew such a set of circumstances was what you required if you were to evolve in the way it knew was needed. Look at all of the rough edges in your lifetime and see them as the opportunities your soul requested for your refinement and enlightenment. A very hard thing to do when those areas are painfully rough, this I know. But I ask that you try. Because once you do, you will have taken an enormous leap. Difficult to believe, but true.
May 9, 2013 § 15 Comments
Never once did my father read me a story. Never once that I can recall did he hold my hand as we walked along. But my father, as troubled as he was, shared with me a few keen lessons in life. This man who was tormented by depression and frustration said to me, “When you hate someone. You are allowing them ownership of you. Don’t let anyone own you, but you.” My father never recognized his wisdom. But I did.
This June marks two years since he died of a massive stroke. He possessed great wisdom; yet couldn’t apply it to his life. Words of wisdom, knowledge and truth are nothing if not utilized in our daily existence. Due to some magnificent teachers we know the importance of owning one’s self. It does not mean to simply feel good about who you are, however. It means to own your words, your deeds, and your emotions.
And when we blame others for how we feel, we are failing to realize that we are handing over ownership to them of our very being. I remember when my son graduated from high school. Moments before the ceremony began his estranged father strode in, and sat in visual range of not only my son but me. This person was an emotional wild card, and the last person my son wanted to see. And when the ceremony ended he strode off; no congratulatory handshakes or hugs were offered to his son; no cards offering well wishes. His appearances had little to do with good intention. His motive was clear. He wanted to shake us off our happy, emotional plateau. As I sat in the auditorium it was clear to me, either I could allow this man to own me via ownership of my emotions or I could choose to dwell in the happiness of my son’s accomplishments and the family that surrounded me. It was for me to decide how I wanted to feel in the midst of it. I chose happiness.
There will always be people like that in this world. Those that want to steal our happiness. Those that will try to own us by keeping us unsettled, or feeling powerless. But it is always up to us as to how much of ourselves we allow them to control and own. I say, allow them nothing. And the same is true when it comes to romantic love. Love them. Enjoy them. But do not let them own your joy. Although you may miss them when they are not near; as you should if there is genuine love involved, do not let your happiness hinge upon their appearance. That is too much control to give another. Instead if they are not there to share a moment with you, allow yourself the soft pang of discomfort inherent to their absence. But try not to allow their absence to take from you your happiness.
Every decision you make is yours and yours alone. Every word you speak must be approved by the judge and jury of your inner compass. And your emotions should be held steadfast due to your inner beliefs, not someone else’s. Because people come and go. During your lifetime you will encounter just as many good people as you will bad, and just as many misdeeds as you will good. But throughout it all, there remains you. So own you. You are your forever constant in an ever-shifting, ever-unpredictable world. Be happy because you decided to be so. Say kind words because it is the true expression of your inner self. And do what pleases you because you matter. And the only one who should own you – is you.
May 8, 2013 § 12 Comments
There are times when we truly can’t understand why life is unfolding in the manner that it is. Just as often, there are times when we can’t make sense out of the actions of others. But all things are seasonal. We can’t control the season, but we can trust in the timing – even when the timing feels so wrong.
As our soul gathers bits and pieces for its larger experience, our ego and the physical body that accompanies it, jockeys through life. We spend days buried in confusion, then a day or two of joy comes our way and we begin to think life’s not so bad after all. Then another maddening situation arises and we start to question if its possible to make sense of life at all. Life is precarious. At times it feels pernicious. But I don’t believe it is, not entirely.
Right now I’m going through a few things that are as much painful as they are healthful to my larger self. As my eyes water with tears my soul tries to reassure me that all is well, and that some u-turns are necessary if ever we are to go in the intended direction. We are forced to let go of things left and right in this life. Those we thought were friends end up enemies. Careers we were convinced would finance our future end abruptly. Those we love die before their time. And then there are those who plunder the lives of others like a tornado that came without warning. People and nature are similar; at least to me. An unexpected hail storm can fall upon innocent apple blossoms, in the same way the actions of one can completely uproot the life of another.
After a hail storm, we clean up the mess and move on. Its imperative we do the same with our personal and spiritual lives as well. Amidst my hail storm, I’m gleaning out those whose season have come to an end in my life. It’s easy to confuse the act of unconditional love with the act of accepting those with whom you are not in alignment. Use the imposed time-out of a hail storm, and the subsequent clean-up, to glean out those with whom you do not resonate. A tree thinks little of ending its season once it knows it has done what it was meant to do. Thus is true of relationships. Thus is true with certain life situations. There will be those seasons that last your entire journey. And then there are those that are brief. Never force a short season into becoming one that is ever-lasting. It will falter, as it wasn’t created for that purpose. It doesn’t have the necessary stamina or depth to bear fruit for a lifetime. So let it go. Allow it to end.
If you have found yourself emerging from a hail storm, amidst a hail storm or are standing watching the dark clouds move closer in your direction – try not to despair. The apple tree will blossom again, and so will you. These disruptions are one of the many seasons of life. They happen due to no fault of your own. You will emerge. Look at it as the chaos needed to kick up the dust in your life. Once all is up in the air, you are able to see things you wouldn’t have seen otherwise. Now clean things up. Its time to remove a few things, so that when things blossom again, there’s room for the good fruit to grow. And through your tears or through your tension, try to smile knowing that as much as there are seasons of darkness, there will be seasons in the sun.
May 6, 2013 § Leave a Comment
Much is revealed during a simple conversation. Such was the case during my interview with Ms. Goodyear from Lovett Publishing.
In my humble opinion, this is a good time to be alive. The enlightenment of mankind is becoming quite evident. Possibly due to the heavy contrast between those that are and those that are not, but also from watching those that have shifted from merely living a life of object focus to inner focus.
Lovett Publishing is more than a publisher, as they recognize that it is through this inner focus that one achieves their greatest success. They haven’t once set aside their soul due to the necessity of business. And due to such, I hope they will always be a colleague of mine. Like attracts like, they say. No doubt that is why Lovett Publishing and I have formed a wonderful relationship. Below is the link to my recent interview with them. If you want to know a bit more about me, the writer, the person, then please read on.
May 3, 2013 § 3 Comments
Perhaps it’s because my work is more cerebral than anything else, or perhaps it’s because my soul tends to dabble in the depths of introspection; but I need to have fun – and plenty of it.
I feel all of us do. If it wasn’t a necessary thing then we wouldn’t seek it out, we wouldn’t create it, nor would the human body have the ability to laugh until it cried. The human form, was designed to purge pensive energy; crying being one of the main ways. And we do this by either laughing or releasing ourselves to sadness. However we arrive there, hormones are released and the tears flow.
Our body is not a haphazard creation. Instead, the force that amassed all the components that make up the human body did so knowing we’re meant to be a conduit of powerful energy. Our emotions stir that energy within our cells. And at times that energy needs to be flushed so that fresh, re-energized energy can take its place. Laughing is one of the many ways we release this energy. And if given my druthers I’d much rather fall prey to infectious laughter than sullen sadness.
For reasons of which I’m still unsure, yesterday I fell under the cloud of constricted, pensive energy. By late afternoon it would be fair to say I was a full-on curmudgeon. This happens to all of us now and again. But its an uncomfortable energy. Nothing about it feels right. And until it’s released I feel like I’m wearing shoes on the wrong feet. I have no idea why my emotional system can suddenly become out of alignment, I just know that when it does I need to find a way to open the spigot, and let it out.
For most of us our work can be the main cause of misalignment. Perhaps its our partner, our physical being or even our children. We strive to give everything and everyone our best, until there’s nothing left to give. Then its time to rejuvenate and replenish; putting the oxygen mask on ourselves, so that we can help to put it onto others. There are many ways to do this but as we head into the weekend I recommend doing it by carving out some fun for yourself. Cultivate laughter. Dig up and savor those things that please you.
These things that bring us unadulterated joy are as varying and as vast as the human species itself. As it should be. So whether you find that thing which makes you smile by watching a movie, listening to music that pushes you to dance, or simply sitting alone. Or whether you take a conscious effort to tap your funny bone by spending time with that one friend who always makes you laugh. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you nurture this side of yourself. Life is far too demanding for you not to step onto the lighter side. We need those things that are light to balance out the weight of our world. So on that note I ask that you find a way to laugh. Cleanse your emotional system. Laugh until you cry. Or cry until you finally laugh. However you do it, go have fun.