August 24, 2014 § Leave a comment
In need of the latest, hippest word used to describe a handsome man, I browsed around at UrbanDictionary.com for awhile. Having read a few entries, I can now say that my mind is the proud new owner of a few images I wish I could disown. However, I did find the term: Man Cake.
My blog posts are personal; intimate portrayals of what lives in my heart and mind. This is the first entry however, where I reached out to friends and colleagues. Quite simply, I wanted to know: what a woman wants most in a man. Their answers bolstered my belief in what rests behind the eyes and within the heart of a quality woman.
Thus far, not one physical, nor external, attribute has been mentioned. No large gender parts. No hefty bank accounts. No bulging muscles. No sports cars. No Armani suits, and no French accents. The votes are in: women want kindness and honesty.
When a woman knows herself – she then knows what she wants in a man. The more she allows her depth to rise to the surface, she is drawn to equal depth in a man. To the man with slick hair, and flexed muscles – you may indeed land a woman. I question, however, the quality of the woman you’ll land. It seems superficiality attracts superficiality. Whereas, depth and quality gravitate toward depth and quality. Like wine to an entrée – it’s all in the pairing.
Good women tend to want a man who flies below the radar. His strength solid, but not flaunted. His mind keen, but with no desire to force his intellect upon others. His compassion and attentiveness genuine. His humanity touching beyond those closest to him. Like good lighting, humility and humor always make a man more attractive in a woman’s eyes. As does honesty and integrity. Women don’t want a man who clamors for the spotlight. Instead, they’re drawn to a man who’s content letting it shine upon others.
Men probably cringe to hear it, but women like a man that’s as strong as he is tender. There’s a primal need within every good woman to have a man that can span these two extremes. Men can’t fault women for wanting that, anymore than women can fault men for wanting a woman who’ll imbue into his life nurturing gentleness, yet unleash upon him her passions in the bedroom. We all have a reason for wanting what we want. With our desires deep and spanning, we want someone to fall into line with those desires; in the doing, we find balance.
I tend to like a good Côtes du Rhône regardless of my entrée. Something about the mix, suites me. When it comes to the man in my life, the same proves true. We all have individual tastes to satisfy. When I want to nibble upon an ear, it needs to be connected to a very clever mind. When I want to be held, the arms that hold me need to be genuine and sincere. And when I want to hear someone’s laughter, it will be the voice of one that sees life with the same twisted view. Oh yes, dear reader, I know what I want. Sadly, it was a discovery that took far too long for me to make. But believe me when I say, as personal discoveries go, it’s one of the most important. So as you set out, remember, it’s all acceptable – our wants and likes. Make no apologies, and don’t settle for less. Be true to you, from there – pair it well.
August 8, 2014 § Leave a comment
I’ve been asked by a few, where it is I go when communing with God; to what church do I belong. Let me take this opportunity to explain what, very well, may be the most important part of who I am: My relationship with God.
I go to church often. It would be more accurate to say, rarely am I not in church. My relationship with God does not follow anyone else’s guidelines except those of my own. The who, what and where of it, are all up to me. Most often, I feel God’s presence when surrounded by music. There have been moments when a simple song has altered my entire course. Something about the energy within the rhythm resonated with my own, and the synchronicity changed me. Music was the constant backdrop as I wrote my first novel, and almost always, it plays when I write these posts. Actually, unless listening to nature, music is almost always playing in my world.
It might surprise some of you to know that I also feel the presence of God as the straight pipes on my Harley scrape along the pavement on a perfectly banked curve. Those moments are like heaven, to me. Every chakra within me spins to life as I lean deeper into gravity’s pull. To some it may seem like God has no place within those seemingly dangerous moments. I disagree. God is in all things. So yes, God rides my Harley with me as I routinely push the envelope. God also stands with me as I stare off quietly while seated along the coastline. Just like the sound of the wind swirling through the trees, surely the chorus of heaven sings within the waves. God is in the serene moments, and God is in the one’s where we feel most infused with life; during moments of utter silence and when sounded by laughter. God is there when we are at rest and when something takes our breath away. And isn’t that how it should be?
Over the last few months I’ve been sitting quietly within myself. I arrived at this place due to reaching an impasse. An impasse is an important marker. Or at least, they are to me. In those moments we’re made to hit the pause button. There we sit. We can either turn around; which defeats growth. Or we can take the time to evaluate where we’re at, make some changes if necessary, then press on; which defines growth.
Growth only happens by pressing through that which was. Growth is always new. It’s the embodiment of change. Everything in life comes about via change. Some welcomed, some not. Some comes with ease, and some with discomfort. The other option is stagnation. And to me, stagnation is the one place where I least feel the presence of God.
It’s good to take stock every now and again. We may not like what we see when we do, but that’s life. Life is not perfect. We are not perfect. Please remember though, that life does get more fun when we stop trying to demand that it fit within certain guidelines. And the last thing I want to stuff in a box is my time with God. It’s important that we take a moment to figure out what works for us. Life is singular. Your journey is personal. So dear reader, take those pause moments when they are given and look around. There is a reason why you’ve arrived here. Perhaps something is trying to get your attention. Maybe changes need to be made. Either way, while there, take time to feel the energy of life. As for me, I’ll be spending my weekend surrounded by what is church to me: music and water. Not only do I find God in these two things, I often find me.